Is Fear Becoming Your Jail

Understand your fear. What can you do to stop that fear from becoming all consuming to you? Can you figure out how to change the course of what's going on? When you figure these things out, when you allow your mind to change the way you see fear, you get more control back to your life. Control = Freedom. Allow yourself that freedom. Dare to get out of the prison that is created by your fear.

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

Can Fear Be Your Jail

The Pole Dancing Class

Exploring AnswerThe Public

Fear Impairs Your Ability To Think Clearly

Check out www.BetsDanko.Com to get more information on blogs, podcasts, courses, and monthly memberships.

facebook.com/betsdanko

instagram.com/betsdanko

Linkedin.com/in/betsdanko

twitter.com/betsdanko

Looking for daily support and motivation?  Sign up for Energié Daily and put your personal success first!

https://www.betsdanko.com/products/energie-daily

Looking for a way to get your beauty routine ramped up and feel gorgeous from the inside out?  Check out Gloci!   

 https://getgloci.com/discount/BETSDANKO 

Start your Free Trial at Kajabi today! 

https://app.kajabi.com/r/xgbNi7Yc/t/ml6ib4cv

Transcript

Bets Danko: 0:03

Music. It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is wisdom and chocolate. Is fear. Your jail is it literally putting you behind bars and stopping you from experiencing your life. Because if that's what's happening, you need to really re evaluate what is going on when it comes to your regular life, like your relationships, your work situation, just getting your clothes on in the morning. Fear is not necessarily your friend. It's more like a jail that's keeping you inside and stopping you from experiencing life. Now, the last couple days have been really exciting for me, because I've done a few things that I don't normally do. I think it's really important that we experience new things, that we move forward, we allow ourselves to, I don't know, try something new, and experience things that others are experiencing every day, but we might feel a little fearful about. And one of the things that I've done over the last couple days is I took a pole dancing class. I had no idea what I was in for. To be honest with you, I've seen aerial artists work with poles and work with silks, you know, like hanging from the ceiling and all that kind of thing. But I had no idea, if you take a beginning class, are you actually doing these things, or are you just sort of like looking at the pole, doing things next to the pole, like I had no idea what I was getting into, but I decided I was gonna do it anyway. Why? Because it was new. It was exciting. It was a it was a different experience than anything I do on a day to day basis. So I took a long drive with a couple pals, and we ended up at a studio, and there was a lovely lady there. We had paid to have a private lesson because, you know, we'd never done it before, and if we got involved with another class, we didn't want to be too far behind or hold other people back, so we paid for a class for just the three of us. And at first it was like, easy peasy, man. Just like, do the warm up, super easy, and then grab onto the pole and maybe walk around the pole. It was so easy, and it was a lot of fun. So all of a sudden, after all the walking and everything, it's hang on to the pole, and we're gonna walk three times around, and then you're gonna swing your arm, you're gonna swing your leg, your legs gonna wrap around the pole, the other legs gonna go up behind the pole, and you're gonna slide down the pole while spinning. Okay, I'm on board right, and I'm not nervous really yet. I'm not fearful yet, but, and I do it, I did it very well, actually, and I slid down the pole. But, man, my hands hurt. A lot of people have issues with their hands spinning, being sort of sweaty, I guess, and they slide on the pole too much. The exact opposite here. I didn't slide very easily, and so my fingers were not super happy. And then things got a little more complicated. Now you're swinging your leg around, and the other leg is pointing forward as you're swinging around, and now you're rolling around on the floor, and you're doing this, and you're doing that, you get back up on the pole, and now your legs are in a totally different position, and now you're pushing on the pole, instead of allowing yourself to slide like every new thing that we were doing, the more frightened I became. And the fear was, am I going to be able to do this? Is this physically possible? And then the fear became, are my hands gonna fall off if I keep doing this, because they are hurting so much? And then it became, am I gonna be able to walk when I get home? Like the fear just kept compounding, even though it was an exciting experience and it was a lot of fun, the fear was sort of stifling me. It was slowing me down, and I had to, in my brain talk myself out of the fear so that I could keep going until eventually, literally, yeah, my hands couldn't take it anymore. The pain was just a little too much. And I thought, you know, I've gotten 45 Well, actually, by that point is about 35 to 40 minutes into the class, I think it could slow down, and then eventually, 10 minutes before it ended, it was like, Okay, I'm done. Yeah, I'm done. And those decisions were not made out of fear, those were reality. Yes, your hands hurt a lot, and you're probably not going to feel so great when you're done. You probably should stop right now. It was like a reality check, but the fear prior to this, the fear was mounting, and unless I had stepped in to tell myself, you're. Going to die from this. Your hands are not going to fall off. You will know how to walk when you're done. Like if I had not stepped in, it would have stifled me to the point that I wouldn't have experienced this new thing, and I wouldn't have had a new understanding, a new respect of the people who actually do this, day in and day out. Now, I know a lot of people think that it's just, you know, just about sexy walking and playing on a pole, but I am telling you, I and the other two ladies that I went with, we felt it. We learned that it took a lot of stamina and a lot of strength to do this. So when people go to pole dancing classes, it's a workout, it's a full body workout, and it is a lot of fun. I wouldn't have learned that if I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone and gone for something that really challenged my fear. So there's this thing online called Answer the public, and it searches for what people are searching for on the internet. And so if you type in the word fear, let's say it will give you all of the topics that people are searching for. And some of the topics are like, Why is anyone searching for that? Like it's hard to understand what, what's going through their mind, that they want to know this, but some of this stuff is logical. Like, yeah, do you want to know what fear does to you? Can it kill you? Does it stifle you? What happens to your mind when you're fearful, what happens to your body when you're fearful? These are questions that people are asking. So I'm in front of my computer, so I'm just gonna pull this up and tell you some of the things that people ask. And this is pretty current. I don't recall exactly when they update this, but it's pretty darn current. And so things that are people that people are asking for about fear? Can fear kill you? Can fear cause a seizure? Can fear be a good thing? Can fear make you sick? Can fear cause anxiety? And so I'm here to answer all of those questions for you today. The answer is yes, yes to every single one of those things. And so it's important that we look at this, you know, it's, this is just a podcast. We only have a few minutes to discuss this right here, right? So I'm not going to go into great detail, but let me just express to you some of the things that happen to you when you are experiencing fear, when you are allowing yourself to be consumed by fear. Can fear kill you? Well, technically, yeah, technically it can, because when you get full of fear, a bunch of hormones are sent out into your body, including adrenaline and cortisol. And one of the things that happens when you get this sudden surge of hormones is your heart rate goes up, and anxiety increases, stress increases, breathing increases. And so when you think about it, yeah, if you've got a heart condition, if you've got something about you that gives you less strength in situations like that, yeah, fear can kill you, and fear can also cause a seizure for the exact same reasons. Fear can be a good thing because it stops us from doing things which might harm us. So it's important to have a healthy level of fear, but it's also even more important to recognize that fear is a choice. Ooh, yeah, fear is a choice, and you can choose to instead experience the situation and make stronger decisions. And the reason I say it that way is because fear impair impairs your ability to think clearly. It fills you with stress, it fills you with anxiety, and it stifles your ability to think on the spot. It puts you in more of a fight or flight situation, so it sort of supercharges your muscles so that you can react faster. But with the brain, it'll it'll help you to fixate on the thing that is causing you fear, and when you fixated on that, you don't see all the other stuff going on around you. So sometimes we're fearful of one thing, when actually the entire situation isn't full of fear at all. It's actually quite empowering. We have a lot of ways to take care of the thing that's causing fear. We have a lot of ways to step out of that situation, but when we're fixated on it, we can only see the thing that's creating the fear. And so it's really important that we choose differently, acknowledge the fear, recognize the surroundings. You follow what I'm saying. It's important. We know what is going on around us and how powerful we actually are in that moment. And of course, I'm going to go back to the thing that I said originally. If this is a situation where your life is in danger, obviously fear is important so that you know you need to get out of the situation, but choose to approach the fear in a way that keeps you aware enough to get yourself out of the situation. Follow what I'm saying. The other thing is, can fear make you sick? Yeah, it creates stress. Stress in your body is generally at the root to at all of almost every major physical issue that people can have. So if your heart is creating problems for you, it's probably stress related. And if it's stress related, it's probably being caused by some level of fear. So it's important that you get the fear in check. So if you're fearful of something that's going on with work. You can choose to react in a different way. If you are fearful of you know whether or not people are going to make fun of the clothes that you are wearing. You can choose a different way of thinking of it, or you can choose to wear a different outfit. You can choose that's where the superpower comes in, but you also, while you are breathing through things, and you can make different choices, you also can start exercising, believe it or not. I know it sounds so simplistic, but when you exercise more, your stress levels go down, and your body is not so full of the toxins that come from stress and from fear. So exercising daily would is a game changer. And by daily, I mean, it could be a walk, it can be on the elliptical. It doesn't have to be a full blown, you know, hour and a half exercise class every single day of your life. No, just get up do something for 1520, minutes straight, something that gets the heart pumping, maybe breaks a little bit of a sweat, right? Make sure that you're doing something that allows you to overcome the feelings of stress and, of course, eating. Well, another thing the people, oh my gosh, I gotta tell you a story. I recently like, I like to challenge myself. And two years ago, I challenged myself to stop eating potato chips. I loved the crunchiness. I loved the chippiness, like I really loved potato chips, but I went cold turkey two years ago, no no more. And I don't regret it. I'm not even missing it. The first three months were the hardest, and then my body got used to the fact that they weren't there, and I didn't really crave them very much, and in about six months, didn't crave them again at all. So this last year, the end of last year, I decided I was going to challenge myself to no more processed foods made by someone else. In other words, I was not going to buy bread or cookies or crackers at a store if I wanted bread, cookies, crackers, cakes, whatever I had to make it myself. And a couple things happen when you do this. You find that your laziness sometimes stops you from eating poorly, which is really great. But you also find that when you make things yourself, you're not using as much sugar, you're not using corn starch, you're not using some of the things that are in processed foods that you can't even read because they're words you've never even heard of. And when you're trying to stay away from those unhealthy things and you're going with making your own stuff, you also have control over all the ingredients. So, you know, maybe there's a thing that you really love at the store, but you recognize that I'm not so into cinnamon, so you make it without the cinnamon. What does that mean? You have more control. We love control, right? Control is fabulous. It allows us to really serve ourselves and the people around us by making choices that are empowering. And so when you go to make things yourself, it's empowering because you make more choices that are good for you. Now, the second thing that I decided not to eat, which is kind of funny, because of the fact that we're on this this podcast, I stopped eating chocolate. I stopped eating candy bars and any processed chocolate that you'd purchase at a store. But again, I am eating chocolate if it's something that I made now, not chocolate chips, because that's processed. It's got to be a cake with cocoa or cacao, and I've got to make it from scratch, or cookies that way, or whatever, and it's been a couple months now I'm in the third month, and I am finally getting to a point where I'm not craving it. And the weird thing is, is that I'm noticing that when I go to stores, there were habits that I was taking part in that I didn't even realize I was doing. I. Like, I go to the store and I'm heading for the bread section, go to the store and I'm looking for protein bars. And all of the protein bars have chocolate in them that I can have because I'm allergic to nuts. And, you know, I'm going to all these different sections in the store, and even if it's TJ Maxx, let's say I'm heading to the section of the store that has a food that I enjoyed. But every single time it's something, I decided not to eat because I wanted to be good to my body and lower my stress levels. Wow. So sometimes the habits that you've brought into your life are actually, you know, supporting some of the things that are not good for you. So the way that you react, the way that you eat, your exercise habits, the way that you're breathing through situations, all of those things are supporting the way you're reacting to fear. So when you take control of those things and you start recognizing how you're allowing those things to take part in your life, you're taking control and you're making life better by lowering the instances that you go into fight or flight. So super important. But the main thing you need to understand is that it's your mind, that it's that that's at the center of this you are choosing to allow yourself to react in a way that creates fear. It doesn't serve you. It's important that you understand your fear. Why it's there, respect that, honor that, and then move forward in a different way. Make sure that if you're feeling fearful about work, why are you feeling fearful about work. What can you do to stop that fear from becoming all consuming to you? If you're fearful about a relationship, why are you fearful about that relationship? Can you change a behavior? Can you sit down with your spouse or your friend or whoever it is, and have a conversation to kind of figure out how to change the course of what's going on. Is it necessary to do that? Is it coming from you because of past experiences, and it really has nothing to do with them. When you figure these things out, when you allow your mind to take a role in changing the way you see fear, you get more control back to your life, and what happens when you have control? Freedom, freedom and it also lends to a more fulfilling expression of who you are. So allow yourself that freedom, take control, get out of the prison that is created by your fear, and allow yourself to feel the freedom that comes from lowering your stress and being fear free. Everyone has something beautiful to bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed energy daily. In Energy daily, I help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life so that you can find value at every turn and design a life that's more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Check out energy daily on bets danko.com and sign up today.