Are You Resisting Change?

If you're afraid of the becoming, you're going to stifle yourself. You're going to stop yourself from becoming who you are supposed to be. If you're afraid of the becoming, you'll never know what you're capable of. Ouch. It's time for you to stop resisting change. It's time for you to understand and to trust who you are. It's time for you to let go of the fear and allow the cell memory to be reprogrammed so that you can really live up to your potential. Stop allowing other people to tell you that you don't have the mind that it takes to get to where you need to be. Stop allowing other people to tell you that you are anything less than what you actually are.

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

Fears can be small but significant

Learning to face and manage fear can lead to positive outcomes

Experience new things to avoid stagnation and to make stronger, more impactful choices

Positivity as a role in achieving a competitive edge in any aspect of life

Check out www.BetsDanko.Com to get more information on blogs, podcasts, courses, and monthly memberships.

facebook.com/betsdanko

instagram.com/betsdanko

Linkedin.com/in/betsdanko

twitter.com/betsdanko

Looking for daily support and motivation?  Sign up for Energié Daily and put your personal success first!

https://www.betsdanko.com/products/energie-daily

Looking for a way to get your beauty routine ramped up and feel gorgeous from the inside out?  Check out Gloci!   

 https://getgloci.com/discount/BETSDANKO 

Start your Free Trial at Kajabi today! 

https://app.kajabi.com/r/xgbNi7Yc/t/ml6ib4cv

Transcript

Bets Danko: 0:03

Bets. It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is wisdom and chocolate. This is bets. Danko and you are listening to wisdom and chocolate. So fear is? It all in your mind. Where does fear come from? What exactly is going on when you have fear? So if you think back to a situation where you felt fearful, and let's make it simple, let's make it something that's sort of benign, because there are definitely some fearful situations that people can be put in that you know, can be pretty rough. So let's think of something small, fear. What did that feel like? Was it a fear of a spider? Fear of losing your shoe? Was it fear of, I don't know fear of a new food that you've never tried before. Maybe it's squid. You've never tried squid before. And you thought, oh my gosh, what in the world? There's no way this is going to be any good. I don't know fear. It's something that we face pretty frequently, actually, even if you're a person who's pretty well balanced and and you feel as though fear is not something that can keep you down? Of course, of course, it's not something that could keep you down, because it has to do with your mindset. It has to do with how you're thinking about the fear. But let's look at the regular, everyday human and what fuels us with fear. I know this one young man who is deathly afraid of stink bugs. And if you're not from this part of the country where I'm recording this podcast, here in the United States, you may not be aware of what stink bugs are, but they are exactly as they imply. They're bugs, and they stink, and they don't always stink you right away, they stink you If you bother them. And they sort of walk around with this armor on them. Their shells are really hard. They're actually kind of cute. When they're young, they're like a bright fluorescent green and they're really, really cute. But as they get older, yeah, no, they're not as cute. And they like to get into your sink. They like to get into your food. They like to be exactly where you're about to put your hand, and so where, wherever you are, if you touch a stink bug, or you bother it with some hot water, or you go to take a bite of your food, oh, god forbid, right? It stinks you. It It sprays. It stink on you. Now, when I first got familiar with stink bugs, I thought that they sort of had a pine sort of smell. But now, like the longer I'm exposed to them, the more I just have to get away. I can't handle them. But this particular young man, he was actually afraid of them. Now maybe it was associated with the smell. Maybe it was just the fact that they end up everywhere, where you don't want them to be. But anytime he was around a stink bug, he would just sort of get chills and sick to his stomach, and the fear would kick in. I also knew a man once who was terrified of eating apples, because at one point he took a bite of an apple, and there was indeed a worm in it. So there was sort of this body reaction, a full body reaction to the thought of eating an apple. So sometimes the fears that we have are pretty small, but how we got to the point of having those fears could have been pretty significant at the time that they developed. Like, taking a bite of an apple and finding a worm can really color you, because at that point you're like, ah, yeah. This is disgusting. This is gross. Maybe you allow it to come out of your mouth. Maybe you've had a few bites. So a few, uh, a few of those bites come out all at once, like you're reacting to it, your body, your cells. Remember that this has happened, and now anytime you come in contact with an apple, that's where you're at, you end up with a state of fear. So what is the fear? Is it just the fact that something gross happened? No. Fear is actually a reaction that you have to something that was unexpected. And if you did expect it, you didn't give yourself enough warning, enough enough thought before it occurred, and perhaps you even created the fear because it was something unknown before you actually experienced it. So fear is something that comes about when you feel that there is no trust, when your faith in the situation is a little assault. You fear is something hap that happens when you have separation. So I read this book recently. It's called the monk who sold his Ferrari, Robin Sharma, I believe, is the the writer of that book. And I have to say, I love his concepts. I love the the the content of his books, but I'm not completely a fan of how the books are written, but because I know that the content is going to be pretty strong and pretty amazing, I definitely get involved with his books. So in this book, he was talking about fear, and he was talking about how there's no need for fear when you have trust and when you have faith, when you trust that everything's fine, then anything that could be bringing you fear is just a learning experience, or is just an experience when you experience your life, Even the moments when you're facing fear you're working through those moments without the whole body reaction or the mind getting completely out of control. And so what this implies is that your mind is the part of you that is in control of how you react to the situation. If you choose to trust, if you exercise your faith, you are less apt to experience the fear. Instead, you've got curiosity about the situation. Now, there are times, as I said, where fear is definitely warranted. It's something that threatens your life, it's something that threatens your livelihood. You know, whatever the thing is, it threatens something about you. And so the fear can be warranted. But even in those situations, if you allow yourself to let go of some of the fear and just experience the moment so that you can learn from it, it will allow you to expand. It will allow you to face things on a more positive level, so that you can gain understanding, rather than feeling as though your life is completely out of control. Now, as I mentioned, fear can create a cell memory, meaning every cell in your body will have the memory of the reaction to whatever. The thing is, if it's the worm in the apple, then seeing an apple will make you tense up, and every single cell inside your body will take part in that tensing up. So how do you control that? If your mind is in control of how you react, what is it that you can do when your body when your cells are reacting. Well, here's the thing, the mind has control over that as well. You can reprogram your cells so if your initial instinct is to tense up and get frightened, you can tell yourself, everything's safe, everything's good. I don't need to react this way, like you basically talk yourself off the ledge. You basically give yourself a pep talk in mid reaction, so that your cells start recognizing Everything's cool, everything's all right. It's like training a dog. If you've ever seen some of the videos of people working with dogs who are considered troubled, dogs who you know other people don't even want to deal with because they growl, they bark, they bite when they're in situations. And really what it comes down to is the dog is frightened, and when you get the dog to recognize they're safe, when you get them to recognize that they don't have to be the alpha all the time, they can trust their human to be the alpha, so that they don't have to be pulled down by all the stress. When you get the dog to that point, they stop reacting that way. When they start associating getting pets and getting love with situations that normally would cause them stress, when you get them to sit and relax, then they start realizing, oh, it's not such a big deal. When a plastic bag is like floating across the backyard, it's not such a big deal. When a person I don't know walks up, I can be on alert, but I don't have to attack them, right? You start getting all of their cells to start recognizing it's cool to be calm. It's the same thing with all of your cells and with your mind, talk yourself off the ledge. Remind yourself that you don't have to be the alpha in every situation. Allow yourself to learn and experience in the moment when you're normally experiencing fear. Now I haven't done this in a couple weeks, but I'm gonna head and gonna go ahead and talk to you about some chocolate. And this is the Endangered Species chocolate. I've talked about this brand many times before. Some of their proceeds go toward helping endangered species. So I really love the concept of the company, but I also really love the chocolate and this. Particular bars, the coconut and almond, 75% cocoa, oat, milk, dark chocolate. That's a big, long title, right? But trust me, it's worth the read because it gets you to trust the brand right off the bat. This is non GMO. They have fair trade practices, and this is a product of the USA, so we really love that, right? We love to support our own economy and work within our own country, to help support some lovely things going on within the world. And on this particular candy bar, they are featuring the koala. And one of the things that I really love about this brand is it doesn't just have all the information on the outside of the label. But when you open it up, there's this bunch of information about koala bears, and also information about their philosophy as a country, or, sorry, as a company. And I just, I really love that you get to know the brand, so you can trust the brand, and you get to recognize that you are taking part in in continuing their efforts to support endangered wildlife. Now I'm going to mention something I don't normally mention when I'm talking about chocolate bars, and that is the whole bar has about 540 calories in it. It's a three ounce bar, so it's kind of big. It's kind of big candy bar. And you know me, I'm a nibbler. I'm not one to sit down and eat an entire candy bar that just it is so not okay for my body. And I listen to my body, right? But if I were to sit down and do it, that's like half the calories of my day. So I think I'd rather eat some other foods, and maybe just have a tiny square of this candy bar and maybe keep it down to about 75 calories, right? But I'm going to also talk to you about a different candy bar that is labeled similarly. This is the Hershey's plant based oat chocolate. It's extremely creamy. It says on the outside of the labeling, and it's almond and sea salt, so similar the first one the endangered species was oat milk, dark chocolate, coconut and almonds. This is almond and sea salt, right? The whole bar is 230 calories. And what is important to note here is that these bars are smaller, so it's actually half the size of the Endangered Species bar. It's vegan, non GMO, and it's part of the Rainforest Alliance. So there are a lot of really cool things that are part of eating this candy bar and helping to support this company in making healthier chocolates. Now the flavor is different. I appreciate the endangered species a little bit more, but again, I really appreciate that Hershey is taking a stand and creating some chocolates that have their typical branding and flavoring in them, but are healthier for the body. I really like that. And when you make this bar about the same size, like double the chocolate bar, the Hershey bar, it's about 460 calories for the same size bar as the other. So there are few calories per bite for this particular bar. Now you may wonder why I'm talking about two different candy bars in this particular episode, and the reason is this, we're talking about fear, and a lot of times people don't want to try a new chocolate or a new food because they're afraid. They're afraid it's going to cost too much, it's not going to taste the way they want. The consistency isn't going to be any good. You know, there are a number of reasons why people won't try new things, but it's important that we do and that in trying those new things, we're comparing and we're learning and we're experiencing so that we can make wiser and stronger decisions for ourselves moving forward, a wise and strong decision for you may not work for my body and my mind and likewise, the other way around, I probably wouldn't go for eating a lot of oat chocolate because I have a situation where I'm sensitive to oats, but you may really dig the oat chocolate and really go for it, and that might be the best thing for your body, but you won't know that unless you read about it, unless you keep yourself calm, unless you make choices to try new things. It's important that you allow yourself to experience new things so that you can make stronger and wiser decisions about you and about your belief systems and about your body. So when we're talking about experiencing new things, another thing comes into play, and that is called expansion, when you expand your mind and you expand your horizons by experiencing new things that can be coupled with a little bit. Of anxiety as well, because when we don't know what lies ahead, we'll have a tendency to react in fear, and we'll have a tendency to make choices that keep us safer. But I use the quotes because the thing is this, yeah, sure, safer because you're only dealing with something you already know, but what if the thing you already know is not the best choice for you? What if it's not good for you? What if it's not empowering for you? You've got to allow yourself to expand so that you can experience the new things and then make choices based on that experience. When we expand our lives. It's exactly the way it implies. You can live in a small box and only experience two or three things in a given day, or you can allow yourself to expand outside of the box and experience life from a new angle. You can look down on the life and really analyze it. You can stand to the side and really experience it. You can be right in the middle, but notice how far it goes when you allow it to but if you don't allow that expansion so that you can get outside of the box, your life is limited, and you're not allowing yourself to really move forward and and experience everything that life can bring to you. So expansion is really important, but it comes down to trusting in the learning. If you don't trust yourself, and you don't trust in the opportunities that you have to learn, you're going to find yourself stagnating. And if you're already there, if you're already feeling like you're stagnating, what got you to this point, what filled you with fear, and why did you react the way that you did? And is this something you can make a different, more powerful, more impactful choice on, so that you can get out of the box and move forward? We've all had experiences in our lives that have changed the way we've seen the world. Is this something that you can change back, or you can take a powerful step where you're still keeping yourself safe, but you're allowing yourself to expand at the same time, it's time to really investigate that and figure it out. You need to trust in the learning. You need to trust that it's okay to allow yourself to step out of the box. Now, positivity gives you a competitive edge in anything that you do. If you're trying to be a leader, if you're trying to be a participant, if you're trying to just be a spectator, if you're trying to be anything in your life that has those types of labels, recognize that positivity is what really gives you the edge up. You don't have to be a person who's in charge of a company. You don't have to be a person who's leading everybody. You can still be somebody, somebody who stands off to the side and experiences things by witnessing all of that is okay. We don't all come into this world with a mission to become a leader. That's not the way it works. We all have different skills, and we all have different needs and wants. So if you're a person who really desires to be a spectator, recognize that you can still face that situation and that choice with positivity, so that you can have a competitive edge within your own life. Follow what I'm saying. You don't have to be competitive with other people. You can be competitive with who you were yesterday or even five minutes ago. You can allow yourself the positivity that allows you to expand and trust as you do so. So now going to the celebration moment, I want to talk about becoming. What is that when you are becoming something, what does that mean? I mean, you definitely can hear that word and say, Oh, well, I know becoming. It's like you're one thing, and then you become a different thing. And that process of becoming that other thing is the becoming. Like that's a circular definition, but you know what I was saying? You we have this understanding of what it means. But let's dig deeper into that. Becoming is the process. Becoming is all of the stuff between the box and the new version of you becoming is one of the most beautiful processes that we have, because in becoming, we get to experience, and all of those experiences are what make up who we become. And we go through this every stage of our life, where we're becoming every moment of our lives. So if we experience life in the real time, we're allowing ourselves to be the person we are, and watching the experience as it goes on, our lives are richer that way. So don't allow. Yourself to become without experiencing the process, my goodness, and don't allow yourself to stop yourself from getting to that new person just because you're afraid, afraid of all of the processes in the middle. If you're afraid of the becoming, you're going to stifle yourself. You're going to stop yourself from becoming who you are supposed to be. If you're afraid of the becoming, you're never going to see who you are. At point b, if you're afraid of the becoming, you'll never know what you're capable of. Ouch. It's time for you to stop resisting change. It's time for you to understand who you are and to trust who you are. It's time for you to let go of the fear and allow the cell memory to be reprogrammed so that you can really live up to your potential. It's time for you to allow yourself to expand and let go of the fear so that you can get out of the box. Stop allowing other people to tell you that you're oppressed. Stop allowing other people to tell you that you don't have the mind that it takes to get to where you need to be. Stop allowing other people to tell you that you are anything less than what you actually are. You are something far bigger than what you are experiencing right now. You are capable of so much more. So stop resisting the change. Everyone has something beautiful to bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed energy daily. In Energy daily, I help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life so that you can find value at every turn and design a life that's more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Check out energy daily on bets danko.com and sign up today experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in relationships, business, family and, most importantly, self celebration, getting the picture, it's wisdom and it's all about you want to hear the chocolate tune into wisdom and chocolate weekly you.