Procrastination Leads To Conflict

So sometimes, when your conflict comes up, it may have to do with time or or whether or not you should even consider doing it. And in those moments, go back, like sort of lean on who you are, why you are, and what your mission is in this life.  So what is your mission? What is it that you're trying to accomplish in life? Are the things that you're choosing creating more conflict, or are they helping you to accomplish the things you want to accomplish?  if conflict is hitting you daily and you're just trying to avoid making choices, then you're missing out on a lot that life has to offer you. 

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

Avoidance Does Not Serve You

Are You Creating Your Own Conflicts?

No Political Posts For Me!

What Is Your Mission

Check out www.BetsDanko.Com to get more information on blogs, podcasts, courses, and monthly memberships.

facebook.com/betsdanko

instagram.com/betsdanko

Linkedin.com/in/betsdanko

twitter.com/betsdanko

Looking for daily support and motivation?  Sign up for Energié Daily and put your personal success first!

https://www.betsdanko.com/products/energie-daily

Looking for a way to get your beauty routine ramped up and feel gorgeous from the inside out?  Check out Gloci!   

 https://getgloci.com/discount/BETSDANKO 

Start your Free Trial at Kajabi today! 

https://app.kajabi.com/r/xgbNi7Yc/t/ml6ib4cv

Transcript

Unknown: 0:00

Bets Danko, it's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom and Chocolate.

Bets Danko: 0:12

My name is bets Danko, and you are listening to Wisdom and Chocolate. Today, I'm going to be talking about conflict, and I know that's not really a topic that we tend to talk about, because it's something that we experience sort of on a day to day basis, right? Everything that doesn't quite go the way we want it to, we see it as conflict, and it's not always something that is good for us to see that way. In fact, when you label something as a conflict, you'll have a tendency to want to avoid it, and meanwhile, just getting it done could probably be, in fact, I would say it is the best thing for you. I have this tendency of holding off on things that I don't really want to pay attention to. You know what I mean? Like, I see things as a conflict, and then I don't want to deal with it. And what ends up happening is, when it comes back my way at another time, I'm looking at it going, oh man, if only I had done this earlier, I wouldn't have to get it done so quickly. Or I wouldn't have have incurred these additional charges. Or I would have just gotten it done, and I probably would have gotten this other benefit if I had just done it when I should have. And it ends up not serving you, and it ends up also telling you that anytime there's a conflict, you can't really be trusted to take care of yourself. Ah, right. What do you mean? I can't be trusted. That's exactly what you're teaching yourself, Love. Whenever you see something as a conflict and then you don't take care of it because you don't want to deal with it, you're showing yourself that you can't be trusted. And who are you with 24 hours a day? Let me think, oh yes, it's you. So you need to be the one that you can trust above all other people. And this is something that people have a hard time grasping, and they don't quite understand how strong a statement that is. You're showing yourself you can't be trusted. That's a really strong statement, is it not? I mean, if you can't trust you, who can you trust? You're the one person who knows what you need and what you want. You are the one person who recognizes what can injure you on a spiritual level, on a mental, emotional level, and even a physical level, but you're the one person who recognizes what injury looks like to you. And there you are creating your own amplified conflict by not paying attention to the things that are right in front of you that you see as a conflict to begin with. So let me tell you a little bit about how conflict sort of plays out in my life. I don't like conflict. I don't like conflict, because normally, there's one side that just isn't understanding or is choosing not to understand what's going on. And there's almost always one side who feels like they're not the problem, the other person is, right? These are two things that completely stop all levels of communication. And so when conflict is there, we have a tendency to just go, I can't talk to you, and walking away. What? No. We all have the ability to communicate. We don't have to agree on anything that we're saying. But as long as we're calm and we're direct and we're expressing exactly the way we feel we need to express, then all is good, as long as both sides are reacting in the same So when you've got conflict that is coming up in front of you, way. you state what it is that you need from the situation, or you state your beliefs on the situation, and you're not getting the response you need. Now it's time for choice. You can choose to move forward. You can choose to wallow in it. You can choose to engage by arguing, or you can choose to go, Well, I've got a differing opinion, and I'm okay with that. Right? Well, here's the thing that I recommend? I recommend that you state your case and then you allow a person to state their case and then agree to disagree and still care for one another. Moving forward, sometimes, when you're talking about this on social media, it. A little more difficult, because a lot of people say things on social media that they would never say to your face. Somehow they feel stronger, wiser when they don't have to see your reaction. In fact, many people will say really horrible things because they think they can get away with it because you're not in their face. But the thing is this, you still have power over that situation. The person could say whatever it is they wish, and you can even remain friends on social media, on some of the some of the platforms, you can remain friends and just unfollow them. You don't have to take in any of the information that they're putting out. Now I sort of made this blanket statement to everyone that is a personal connection for me. I don't do political. I just don't do political because people are too apt to say really horrible things online about their political beliefs. I want to be friends with you because of your personality, because of the things that you're involved in. I want to remain friends with you because of your heart, because of how much you give, how caring you are, what a fabulous father you are. Whatever the reason, there are reasons outside of politics, and that's why you're my friend. So I told everyone that would listen. If you want me to remain on your follow list, like someone who's following you, please don't post anything political. And unfortunately, there are some people who I mean, they are so important to me, but I don't follow them anymore. And every once in a while I get curious, so I do look at their pages, because I want to make sure, are they okay? Is everything going all right? Has anything happened that's really substantial in their lives? I will look on their pages, but I can't partake in the political stuff. And they made their choices by continuing to post political stuff. And that's cool. That's totally fine. I recognize that they're making a choice, and I recognize that I'm making a choice, and the choice that I'm making is to not partake in the conflict, because there's no way really for me to come out feeling positively on the other side. So sometimes you can make choices to avoid conflict when you recognize that there's sort of this blanket thing that you just can't deal with. Like, people post these videos and they seem so sweet and gentle, and then all of a sudden there's a scare at the end of it. Well, I don't care for those scares. I don't like that. I don't, I don't, you know, I want to just see puppy dogs and and horses. I don't want to see something that's disturbing to me. So I every chance I can, I say, Nope, I don't want this kind of content, and I just stop it from coming in. You can make blanket statements or blanket actions for things that you know you do not want to consume. You can avoid that kind of conflict, for sure. And those types of things I believe, are really sort of saving you and your relationships with other people. If you allow yourself to go, Yeah, this isn't my thing, and even if you tell your friends, this isn't my thing and they still want to partake, that's cool. State what it is that you need, state it out loud to the other people, or state it just to yourself, and then follow through. Make sure that what it is that you're doing is supporting you and supporting your relationship, but not throwing you off balance. You don't need that kind of conflict. Now, there are other types of conflict that we should talk about, because sometimes there's a conflict about, oh, goodness, maybe it has to do with a bill that you need to pay. You know, you've got to pay that bill, but when you pay that bill, your bank account is about to really drop low. And so the conflict is, do I allow my bank account to go down so low? Do I call the company and say, Hey, can I work at a payment plan? Do I just not pay them? Do I come up with reasons why I shouldn't have to pay them like, you know, it's a conflict that you're sort of creating yourself, because why did you incur the cost to begin with, right? But let's just say it's a medical bill. You incurred the cost, and there was good reason for it, but now you're looking at it going, man, I don't know if I pay that. I suddenly don't have any money. I can't deal the conflict is there. What are you going to do? Well, if you're going to let it sit there the bill, that is, if you're just gonna let it sit there, that conflict grows and grows and grows. The charges get higher. The threatening letters come in more frequently. All of a sudden you're in collections, right? Like all these things start happening because you didn't deal with it at the onset. This. Would be a situation where just going head on and just taking care of the conflict right off the bat serves you. Doing this and taking care of these things right now is way more beneficial. And you know what happens is all this stress that you put yourself under while you're waiting and you're getting all these bills and whatever you don't have to go through it. You can literally from the get go, go. I'm going to take care of this by calling the company. I'm going to take care of this by calling the hospital, whatever the thing is, I'm going to work out a payment plan, and you take care of it on day one, and then all of a sudden, you've saved yourself all of that pain and that stress and that conflict because you did what you relied on yourself and you knew that you could trust you, because you are a person who follows up and takes care of the things that need to be taken care of why create more conflict by not taking care of whatever the thing is that's sitting in front of you, right? So I decided this week that I would take on an additional job, and I would go and do a drum circle. That means, yesterday, I needed to prep. I needed to write down what I wanted to cover during the circle. I needed to get my water together, know what I was going to be wearing, all of that kind of thing, because I knew I would have to wake up at 630 in the morning. I also knew that I was going to have to pack the car. Now, even though there were 50 some people scheduled to be there, I only have 35 drums accessible to me of that type So you see, it wasn't as simple as just, I'm going to go ahead and do this thing. There was a little bit of conflict in my that you would use in a drum circle, and so I knew that I had head. Do I take this on? This isn't just an hour of my time. This is many hours of my time, and this is draining me of to pack all of those into the back of my car. And that was not energy, and how much will I not get done in my regular work? Like there was a lot going on, a lot of conflict, and the way going to be easy at seven in the morning, when I'm super, super that I chose to do, what it was I was going to do today, was I said to myself, This will serve a lot of people. Service is really a focal point for me. And I knew that I would be tired, but I knew it needed to happen. So I brought all the introducing people to a way of bringing about relaxation, lowering stress, lowering heart rate, right? I knew that leading drums to common areas where I knew it would be easy for me to a drum circle would provide so much that the conflict of whether or not I needed to do it or or shouldn't do it. The pull them and put them into the car, but it was a good 45 conflict was pretty much taken care of on its own. I knew that I would be serving others, and that was the guiding light. minutes of prepping, getting things together, and then it was So sometimes, when your conflict comes up, it may have to do with time or or whether or not you should even consider doing it. another 20 minutes of loading things into the car. Then it was And in those moments, go back, like sort of lean on who you are, why you are, and what your mission is in this life. My mission has to do with serving people. My mission has to do a drive to the location, and then unloading, and then waiting with making people's lives a little bit easier and bringing people awareness so that they can have a more fulfilling life. for my start time, and then doing the circle, and then doing That is my mission. And it's a little bigger than that. Honestly, I could probably sort of encapsulate it into one statement, but that kind of gives you a little bit of a everything in reverse. snapshot. But that is my mission. So when it comes right down to it, in those moments where I could have conflict, do I do it? Do I not do it? All I have to do is consider how much I'm helping other people. So what is your mission? What is it that you're trying to accomplish in life? Are the things that you're choosing creating more conflict, or are they helping you to accomplish the things you want to accomplish? Are you creating more conflict by just not facing these questions. Is that like an everyday thing for you? Because that's that's a conflict that you probably need to focus on pretty darn quick. My guess is that if conflict is hitting you daily and you're just trying to avoid making choices, then you're missing out on a lot that life has to offer you. Everyone has something beautiful to bring to the world, and with that in mind, I designed energy daily. In Energy daily, I help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life so that you can find value at every turn and design a life that's more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Check out energy daily on betsdanko com, and sign up today. Experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in relationships, business, family and, most importantly, self celebration, getting the picture, it's wisdom, and it's all about you want to hear the chocolate tune into wisdom and chocolate weekly. You.