Can Motivation Be Taught?

In the moments when you're excited about a new opportunity, are you talking yourself out of it, or are you acting like your own cheerleader? Motivation defines the value you have for yourself. So if you're not feeling motivated,and it's something that you can't pull yourself out of, start by listening to the internal dialog. It's all up to you. Motivation comes from your own mind. You have the power to satisfy your own needs. Acknowledge what you want out of life is important and change your inner dialog.

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

Where Does Motivation Come From

Motivation Affects Performance

Motivation Is Yours To Harness

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Transcript

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Bets Danko. It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom and Chocolate.

Bets Danko: 0:13

This is bets Danko, and you are listening to Wisdom& Chocolate. And today we're going to be talking about motivation and how it is taught. But the thing is this, there's a twist on that, because it's not just about how someone else can teach you how to self motivate, but how do you access your motivation? Because here's the key. Yourour motivation is a superpower that is within you. It comes from a place inside that actually is the light behind all of your dreams and all of your goals and all of your desires. And when you're tapping into that motivation, that's when you start seeing things happen for you. But here's the thing, you can be taught, 'this is what motivation is, and this is how you get to the point of motivation', but it's completely up to you whether or not you actually get there, because, for the most part, motivation is self taught. Ah, What? I know! Most of the time when you come and you listen to these podcasts or you watch these on YouTube, you're you're being told that you're in control. Ah, right? Because that means that either you haven't been doing what you need to do in order to get yourself motivated, or here's the real thing... you have the power to ramp up your motivation. You just need a little bit of a push to get it going and that's what this is right now. This is your little push - a little tiny push, to get you to recognize and acknowledge the light inside of you, that source, the base of all of your goals, your dreams, your desires, the places where you want to go, the things you want to experience. All of that comes from that spark on the inside that you just need to start acknowledging. So motivation comes from within you. It's something that's already there. You just need to tap into it. And most people need to sort of peel things off of it, like an onion. Likeike there are a bunch of layers of stuff that have built up over time that have told you that you're not worthy, you're not capable, youou shouldn't be dreaming so big, right? All of this stuff, I could use a different, stronger word, but we're gonna call it stuff. All that stuff needs to be peeled off so that you can see the basic element of who you are and what propels you forward. I've, I've heard a lot of people, and honestly, I've experienced it myself, who have said, you know, I'm just not good with the motivation, or I'm not feeling motivated right now, or I don't know I failed at motivating myself. All of these things stifle you. They hold you back. And with me personally, it's, it's this acknowledgement of, man, I don't feel motivated. And instead of then going, all right, I've got to look at the end goal. When I get excited about where I'm going and what it is I'm trying to accomplish, man, I get motivated like nobody's business. But what do I do? I'll just keep saying I'm not motivated. I'm not motivated. I'm not motivated. And many times it could take hours or even days before I finally go. Hello, youou teach these tools - you need to start getting engaged. And as soon as I look at my end goals, oh my gosh, it changes everything. And why is that? When you value where you're going, when you value the dreams and the desires, the wants, the needs, when you put value like real value on those things, it is a whole heck of a lot easier to be motivated to get to those things. If you don't recognize that value, then what's the point? Right? Like, if your motivation is something that is waning just because you don't want to get out of bed, like I don't feel motivated to get up in the morning, well, what could be awaiting you? And I use the words 'could be' because many times when we don't feel like we can get up and go we'ree're thinking that there's nothing really waiting for us. But what could be? Maybe you could go for a hike. Maybe you could go out, meet some people, hang out with some people, do a community event. Maybe you could get up and clean your house. Maybe it couldould be, you know, looking at, I don't know, your favorite books. Rereading something. There are things that each of us attach emotion to and and feel good about, that could actually give us enough motivation to pull ourselves out of bed. Wow, right? All you need to do is look at the end goal. Well, that's not entirely true. That's the first thing you need to do. I'm going to get to what you really need to focus on in a little bit. But when we think about failing at motivation, it's important that we recognize what it is we are actually saying. If you're thinking, I just can't get myself motivated, I'm just failing at this, what you're actually saying is, there was a lesson in there somewhere, and you're not paying attention to it. Because either you got yourself motivated or you have an opportunity to learn. And if you're not pushing yourself forward, what is it that you can learn? Well, one, I'm in control of how I react to everything. Yeah, you're the only one who controls how you react. So how are you reacting to this moment of no motivation? Are you looking at the end goal? Are you talking to yourself in fabulous ways, like you're gonna love this, it's gonna be fabulous, you'reou're gonna succeed? Orr are you thinking not so wonderful things? Is is your thought process more wrapped around challenging things or failure type things? Here's the thing, failure is just a momentary thing, and it's not actually failure. It's a judgment moment where you have judged your your participation, your outcome, with one word - failure. And in a way, it's sort of an attempt to wrap it all up into one thing so that you don't have to deal with it anymore. But when we talk about failure, especially when it comes to motivation, it's very stifling. It holds you back. It stops you so basically, it makes it so that it's even harder to motivate yourself to move forward, right? Why do we do these things? Why do we do these things? People? Failure is not a real thing. It's a judgment. So stop talking about it like it's failure. Recognize that you have the ability to change whether or not you're acting on your motivation, and then choose whether or not you're going to. And if you don't do it well, then you need to think about why. Why are you reacting that way in moments when you feel like you should be motivating yourself and you're not? What'shat's going on there? So this is how motivation actually works, and this is something that will help you a great deal. Motivation is little wins, and your little win at a moment could be, okay, I don't feel motivated, but I'm gonna think about the end product. Yeah. So a clean house would be really, really great. I'm gonna have to go that route, right? Little win. I'm gonna start by wiping the counter. A little win. Now that I've wiped the counter, I'm gonna go ahead and do the dishes. That's an even bigger win, right? Now, you've done the dishes, it's like, okay, I'm gonna dust. Woohoo That's a big one. You gotta walk around the house. You got the duster in hand, you know, all that kind of thing. And all of these things for cleaning your house, end up with you vacuuming the floor and getting all the debris that came from the upper surfaces out of your house, right? Little wins that lead you to a big win, a clean house. And it all takes one decision. At the beginning, I'm going to do this because a clean house would be great. Super simple. And here's the thing that happens with everything that you want to do. It's not just about cleaning a house. This could be about your career, your relationships, changing the way you view relationships, so you're making wiser choices about who your partners or your friends are going to be. This could be something that is instrumental in you finding a house, you know, changing your your career trajectory into something totally different than what you've been trying. You may have been trying to move up the ladder in your accounting business. Butut meanwhile, what you really wanted to do was learn how to cut hair. Like, you could change the course of everything you're doing by going for something that gives you a little bit more of a kick and activates the passion inside of you, just with tiny little wins. Incentives are good as well, and some of those wins are incentives. But you can also say, Okay, this goal that I have takes about five steps to get to where I want to be. And at each step, I'm going to give myself a gift. Now, I heard somebody talking about this a while back. Believe it was Ed mylett, where he was talking about how, you know, he had goals for what he wanted to accomplish in his career early on. And he would work and work and work. And he wasn't meeting the goals, but he still had the end in mind. So he kept working and working and working. And what his goal was was to hit a certain dollar amount so that he could take his wife to stay at a big hotel, big ritzy hotel. And this is super cool, because even though the goal was such that he had to work and work and work to get there, the incentives were put in place. And the incentive to stay at this awesome hotel was strong enough that it kept him going. Because it wasn't just about him, it was about his wife as well. He wasn't alone in this thing, so the gift that he was giving himself was also for the person that he loved. Incentives so powerful can definitely propel you forward. And the other thing is that you actually need to believe in your dreams. Now, when I was younger, I had a dream of being a movie star. I was like five years old, right? Six? Well, I actually was five until, I don't know, 19 years old. I really wanted to be a movie star. And for me, the goal was more about the fancy clothes than dealing with paparazzi and all of that kind of thing. I just wanted to wear gowns, and I wanted to wear jewels and all of that kind of thing. And I compared that type of living to being a star. And I thought, Okay, that's it. That's what I want. But I applied myself quite a bit into that, and never really harnessed the passion that was necessary to propel myself forward. I was excited about it, and I wanted to do it, but I was more about individual dance classes or individual shows that I was in. I wasn't really about the main goal. And then when I had my first child, whoa! I've never had a goal like that in my entire life, to raise a little human into somebody that was just absolutely amazing. It takes dedication, it takes work. Andnd in my eyes, in many ways, it's more difficult than most of the careers that are out there, because it's all emotion based. You're working with the love you have for another human being. Holyoly moly. And it's a never ending love. Andnd if you get it right, it is an unconditional love, where you just love them completely and totally, and you want to give everything to them so that they grow up to be amazing adults. And that became a huge passion for me. And it was such that it changed my view of everything around me. Andnd my dream became seeing my children grow up to be amazing people. You also could believe in you. And in fact, I would say that when it comes to the little wins and the incentives and believing in your dreams, it's essential that you believe in you. If you have that I can do that mentality, if you believe that you can actually accomplish the things that you are sending yourself out to accomplish, then you are believing in you in the best possible way. That is one way to really gain your momentum and your motivation and push yourself forward that will permeate all of your life. It's not just about the one goal, it's about everything that's going on in your life. So I sort of mentioned that little light inside of you. Imagine it being a little voice, a little voice inside of you that says you can do this. I know you've got what it takes. I know that you are capable of learning something new. Imagine that little voice and we talked about the onion. Imagine layers and layers and layers of you saying that didn't work, I failed. I can't believe I screwed that up, just covering up that little voice until you might believe in yourself, but your level of belief in yourself is such that you're not able to accomplish the things that you want to as easily as you could if you believed in yourself. Holy moly, right? What you are in control of how you react. So how you react every single time something comes in your way and challenges you creates barriers that stop you from hearing that little voice. So if you really want to start believing in you remind yourself how you thought of yourself when you were 1-2-3-4 years old, in those moments where everything was possible, when you were sort of a daredevil, when you were willing to sacrifice to get to the best swing set or to jump that bark dust pile, or, I don't know, you know, dirt bike ride, whatever the thing was that you really wanted to do. Remember that feeling of abandon, where you just went and did it because it's there and you want to, Wouldn't you love to access that then peel away the onion, get rid of all the stuff that's stopping you from hearing that little voice. So for today's chocolate, I want to talk about a general thing, and I've done this before, but here's the thing, we have a tendency to reach for sugary snacks, almost by impulse. Like last night, I wanted to watch a movie, but I wasn't in the mood for popcorn. And I thought - and I have to have a special kind of popcorn, because I react to certain types. And I thought, I'm gonna have some chocolate. So none of the healthy chocolate was in the house, so I grabbed a bunch of not so healthy chocolate. And, man, I had dreams all night long, like I did not sleep completely. And that that was a real bummer. But I did it to myself. I made a choice. I owned it. I did it to myself. But it is so much better when you do something like consume chocolate in a protein drink, let's say. Creating a dessert that you have control over all of the ingredients. Creating a sugary thing that doesn't actually have white sugar in it, but maybe a coconut sugar or something that's healthier, that's not bleached. You have the ability to make the choices to create any sort of snack that you wish that can serve you better. Now. Does that mean you can't have evenings where you just grab a bunch of chocolate? No! I did it. I said, Well, I've done it. That's okay. I'm gonna have some consequences, but I'm cool with it, right? You can have days like that. And what did I do this morning? I made myself a smoothie with a chocolate vegan protein powder, You can do healthy things and not so healthy things, and balance your life out. And it's the same when it comes to motivation. There may be days where you don't feel motivated and you just don't even want to look at the end result. Like you just don't even want to see what could happen if you did everything the way that you should, right? You just don't even want to go there. You just want to be lazy. That's okay. But tomorrow, when you wake up, have your tennis shoes next to the bed. Immediately jump into those tennis shoes, brush your teeth, and go do your workout. Balance is important. Lazy days are important. A little unhealthy chocolate every once in a while can be important. Make sure the majority of the time you are really connected to your motivation and you're getting things done. So motivation can affect many things. It's not just something that is, you know, affecting your self esteem in the way of, oh, I didn't feel motivated so I didn't get this thing done. Motivation also affects learning. If you don't feel that you are motivated to get things done, you don't learn how to accomplish things. You also can be affected on a performance level. If you're not motivated, you don't give 100% and then you don't feel proud of what you did. And I can speak to this definitely, because I'm a performer. And there are days when I show up and I know everything, man, I am really sharp on all of my singing, all of my presentation. If it is a keynote speech, I am totally there. And then there are days when I show up and I'm just not completely there. And I need to really lock into my motivation quickly in order to provide whatever it is the client has asked for. And if I don't, then I compromise my performance, I compromise my speech. And for me, I'm not willing to do that. I want to make sure that I'm serving people at the highest level I can. I don't want to just call it in. So I pull in the motivation two to three days before I show up for an event and and I'm not talking about motivation to write the speech or to get the music ready. No that happens like weeks or months ahead of time. What I'm talking about is two to three days ahead of time in order to keep my energy up and keep myself motivated, I'm eating extra healthy. I'm working out a little harder, I'm stretching a lot more. I'm focusing more on meditative states of being. I'm focusing more on what is inside of me and connecting with my thoughts, my words to myself and my motivation. Two to three days before. And I tell you, if I could, if I could bottle the motivation that happens when I dedicate myself to that level, I would share it with all of you. I absolutely would. Because it is amazing what that does for you. To really focus on that is absolutely amazing. And part of that focusing is not reaching for an unhealthy chocolate, reaching for a vegan protein source, and like really caring for your body. All of the energy centers work together so mental, emotional, spiritual, physical. So in those two to three days before a performance, it doesn't even have to be a major performance, I am balancing all of those energies and making sure that everything that I am doing, doing is in support of performing at the highest level I possibly can. All of this comes down to discipline and choice. I know that I'm in charge of how I react to every situation, so I choose to do what is best to create the most balance I can so that I can perform at the highest level I am capable of on the days I show up to work for a client. So motivation and achieving goals. I think I've mentioned this, but let's just say it straight out, if you really want to achieve your goals, you need to work on that motivation. If you want to be getting the best out of people, work on your own motivation and then support the people around you so that they feel motivated. So now let's talk about celebration, because we're at the celebration moment. Can motivation be taught? I mentioned this at the beginning. People can give you tools, but you're the one who lives with you. 24/7. You know what is going on in your head, and if you don't, you need to stop and listen to it. There is this little exercise that I've done at some of my retreats and with some of my speaking opportunities. And that is where I don't give any sort of lead up. I just say, in a moment, I'm going to ask you to close your eyes, and I want you to just hear the first things that you hear going on in your brain. Don't edit it. Don't try to change it. Don't try to think of something new or profound, because you're in the middle of a group and you know you want to do the best that you can. Just be aware. And they close their eyes. I give them a couple moments, and then I say, write down everything you heard. And the types of things that people come up with are absolutely amazing. But one of the biggest things when you're in a group and you do that exercise is the amount of people who think, Am I doing this right? There's a question, Am I doing it right? Well, you've just heard what it is you were supposed to do. You closed your eyes. You were paying attention. Why do you doubt yourself? Why is that one of the things you think in the first 30 seconds after you close your eyes? This is something we all need to think about. You can self teach motivation. You can change the way you're thinking, but you first need to notice what it is you're thinking. And in the moments when you're excited about a new opportunity, are you talking yourself out of it, or are you acting like your own cheerleader? You need to know this, because when it comes to motivation, you need to know how to communicate with you to actually get through. This is really important. It's vitally important. If you want to succeed at this, you have to know what's going on in your brain. Now, motivation defines the value you have for yourself. So if you're not feeling motivated, excuse me, and it's something that you can't pull yourself out of, like. It's just no matter how you hard, your you try, you're just not getting to where you want to get to, start by listening to the internal dialog. Then think of what it is that you want to do. Then look at the end result. Don't think about all the steps it'll take to get there, think of how amazing it'll be when you're done. That creates so much motivation, and it increases the value you have in yourself. When you recognize you're capable, when you own it, you really go for it, then you start realizing the value that you have inside of yourself, and when you accomplish the task, the value goes up, and you're like, holy****, I am amazing, right? You start feeling that way because you've just proven to yourself that you can accomplish what you set your mind to. It's all up to you. It all comes from your own mind. You have the power to satisfy your own needs. You don't need to look to other people for that. Look to yourself first. It all comes down to you. You've got to change your inner dialog. You've got to stop deflating and minimum, minimizing your thoughts and the things that are important to you. What you want out of life is important. It holds value. It is part of the light that is inside of you. What you want to do should be on your to do list, and your motivation should be right there with it, helping to get you to see the end result. So I hope that this served you. I hope that moving forward, you're paying a little bit more attention to what's going on in your mind and in your heart. And most of all, the thing that I want the most for you is for you to really, truly understand that motivation comes from within you. And if you're not feeling motivated, you have the power to change that. Everyone has something beautiful to bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed Energie Daily. In Energie daily, I help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life so that you can find value at every turn and design a life that's more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Check out Energie Dailyaily on BetsDanko.Com, and sign up today. Experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in relationships, business, family and, most importantly, self celebration, getting the picture. It's wisdom, and it's all about you want to hear the chocolate tune into wisdom and chocolate weekly. You.