Ace The Challenges

All Things change, so why not create the change before it creates challenge. Allow it to be part of your mindset. If you don't want those challenges to push you into arenas you never wanted, then be in charge of the change. You need to be the one who dictates your mindset and how your life will move forward. Believe that what you want is what you were meant to experience. Believe it, and believe it now.

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

Control Your Challenges

Embrace The Peace You Create

Dictate How Your Life Will Change

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Transcript

Bets Danko: 0:03

It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate. This is Bets Danko, and you're listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. Hey, great to have you here. We're gonna be talking about a lot of stuff today, which I'm pretty sure it's gonna hit home, so sit back and listen in, because we are going to be talking about you. Isn't that the best, when people tell you they're going to be talking about you? Not always, right? Sometimes, what people are gonna say when they're talking about you, uh, yeah, you don't want to hear it, right? But trust me, when I tell you that when I'm going to be talking about you, it is coming from a place of love, and definitely a place of growth. So, the very first thing we're going to talk about is your challenges, the things that you're facing on a day to day basis, or sometimes we don't feel like we're facing challenges at all, and then all the sudden something sort of comes into play, and you're like, "What the heck is this? I'm not used to this kind of challenge." Well, any challenge, no matter when it hits you, has value in your life. However, we need to make sure that when those challenges hit, that we're not allowing those challenges to knock us over; we're not allowing them to take us over. We don't want those things to be slowing us down when we're trying to achieve something. So don't allow your challengers to push you in arenas you never even wanted. I know that when I'm faced with something I don't want to slow down, I don't want to take more time, I just want to get things done. And I know that's part of my personality, because I am not very patient, I want things when I want them, and I want them the way I want them when I want them, and that's kind of how I am. And so, when something comes into play that is trying to slow me down, I get really annoyed, I don't even want to deal with it, and I go into solution mode, like, before it even hits the fan, you know what I'm saying? Like, I am already trying to figure out what to do, so don't, I, so that I don't have to work any harder than I have to and I don't have to wait any longer than I have to, that's kind of part of my personality. However, sometimes when I react that way, and I just want a solution now, a different kind of thing happens, and that different kind of thing is this. I start reacting and putting something else into play before allowing myself the opportunity to work through getting things done the way I originally planned, and then I miss out on something good. So this is what I'm talking about. I'm just kind of trudging along, doing my own thing, all of a sudden, a challenge comes into play. And I have been on this path for a while, and I knew the path was gonna take me some time, but I was sort of devoted to it, like, it, I'm all in, I'm really going for it, all the sudden the challenge comes into play, and I'm like, oh, Plan B, and then I just go on to something new. Meanwhile, if I had allowed myself to work through the challenge, the rewards on the first path would have been so much greater. So, it's really important when we are facing challenges, that we give ourselves an opportunity to see with the challenges there to teach us. And also to get a view, even if from afar, of what we may accomplish by sticking the course, like staying right there, doing what needs to be done, and working through the challenge. I know that I don't want to allow my challengers to push me into arenas I never wanted. I want the thing I wanted from the beginning, like I said, I'm not somebody who wants to deal with problems. I'd rather work through them, or find a totally different course. That's what I'm all about. But the arenas that I never wanted sometimes take hold without me realizing I've allowed that to happen. So what's the solution? What do you do? Here's the thing: be patient, take your time, look at the situation, maybe even stopped like full stop and go,"Hey, I'm not making another choice until I understand what's going on now," and then act. Like, literally pull yourself out of the situation so that you can gain clarity, oh I love that word, clarity, gain clarity before you move forward. This is really, really important. Clarity is important no matter what it is that you're doing, whether you're faced with a challenge, or you are moving forward as planned, you need to know where you're headed, why you're headed there, and what it is that you wish to accomplish by getting there. So, slow yourself down, allow patience to set in, maybe say no to a few things. Ooh, what a concept, right? Maybe say no to a few things, and then move forward. The arenas that you want to move into are the ones that are most fulfilling, and sometimes the more difficult path is the one which is most fulfilling. Why? Because you worked for it, you put in the time, you thought things through, you learned along the way, you became somebody that other people can look up to because of how much you put into that. Definitely stick the course if that is the way you believe you can avoid the arena's you never, ever wanted. So I was thinking this morning about my midsummer reset retreat, and there was a moment a few years ago, which was just so terribly unfortunate, but because of how I handled it, I ended up in a far better place now than I was in then. And the reason I say that it was a far better place is not only because I made great choices at the time, but because now my success level is much higher, and my ability to touch people is much deeper, and my ability to inspire people to change their lives is like through the roof, and I am just so, I'm feeling so blessed for how things turned out. But let me dial back the clock a little bit and give you a little bit of an understanding of what was happening. Now, I had decided that I wanted to do live retreats before 2020 was even a thing. I wanted to bring my retreats, which I had been doing in my home, to a larger audience and have it in a bigger venue, and I really wanted to develop my skills for speaking and for presentation. And so I connected with this gentleman who I had known for a tiny bit of time, and he had a venue, and he said, "You know what, I really want this kind of activity in my space, so I'm gonna give you this amazing deal, and as you get bigger as it gets better, then I'll start making more money. But for right now, let's just bring positive energy to this location and just really kill it." Awesome. What a perfect deal. And every time I held a retreat, I paid him a little bit more, even though I wasn't making any money, like I literally was making nothing. In fact, most of the time I was paying money to make sure that the event was happening. I knew that this route was the route to go because I had learning to do, and I had people to touch, and I didn't want to leave anyone behind. So then 2020 happened, and a lot of things were in play at that time, but one of the most unfortunate things was that the bee encounter happened. For those of you who haven't been following for very long, let me give you a little bit of information on that. I had an in-ground bees nest in my garden. I knew about it, but my son had been helping me move rocks, he dropped a rock on the nest, and so that got the bees sort of anxious and upset, he got stung. And so we knew that the bees were a little bit more active, but these seemed like they were calming down. So I was gardening several feet from the nest, like I was pretty far from the nest, and all of a sudden a bee comes right at me, and then other bees come right at me, and it's this, it was like a cartoon man. It was like, I'm running out of the garden in these rubber boots, something you should never be running in a cross stone, and I'm running out of the garden, and there is like this group of bees, I don't even know how many because I'm just trying to run, and they're like, you can see them in the periphery and whatever. And finally they they're not following me anymore, and I'm full of adrenaline so I don't even realize that I have totally broken my ankle, ripped up off the tendons, like, I have completely destroyed my ankle. So imagine this, and imagine no income, right? So there are no doctors to go to, there's like no, nothing for me to do, really, except to take out my mother's old wheelchair and navigate my life in a wheelchair. And then we happen to have crutches as well, so I was navigating on crutches when I could. And so here I am, at this location, it's a midsummer reset retreat, I have gotten up the stairs, and I'm now wheeling myself around in a wheelchair, and I get a phone call from the owner of the location who breaks it to me that he's not making enough money, so I need to either pay him more, or I need to get out. And I'm like, what? And this is one of the situations where the challenge could have pushed me into arenas that I never wanted to be in. And at that moment, one of those arenas could have been me lashing out. "What? Like, we had a deal, and 2020, and no money," and I like literally, I not only had the retreat going, but I had invited a bunch of people to come who did not pay, and it was costing me several hundreds of dollars to hold this event. And I just was like, I have to be the light, I have to be the person that keeps going, that keeps giving hope, like I have to be here, and I was very kind on the phone, I made the choice in the moment to be very kind. And in the back of my head, I was thinking, "This is it, there'll be no more retreats, I'm never going to be able to get this done. Like, everything is falling apart around me," like, this is what was happening in my head. But I kept it together, I didn't let on to anyone there that any of the stuff was going on, and a beautiful thing happened. I kept my cool, I, I was sort of devastated by the news, so I made no new choices, no new decisions, nothing really was coming, I had dates chosen for the next retreat in the winter, but who knows if it's happening, right? And I make a phone call, or I texted actually, a friend who I knew was working on a new venue, and I just was curious, I had no idea. Like, I really wasn't at all thinking this is my new location to have this retreat, I just was curious how it was going with him, did he, like, get the new venue going, like what's going on? And I went out to visit and I saw what he was working on, and this is now the location of the midwinter and mid summer resets, and this is so phenomenal. This retreat center is like I can't even tell you how much better this location is than the one that I was at. I'm still very grateful for the gentleman who gave me my start in the other location, but the blessing of having this new location is just absolutely insane, and I'm grateful every single day. And one of the main reasons I am grateful is because of what happened that first time around. The challenge of keeping the retreat going when so many people had no money, and we were, you know, challenged with having to keep people separated from one another, many people coming in masks, it was like it was it was such a challenge, but I had to keep going, I had to keep going. And it ended up being a humongous blessing to the point where I have grown in size with my company, I have touched far more people, I've been given the opportunity to have retreats in more locations because of the success of of the retreat here, and I, my mind is absolutely blown. I didn't allow the challenge to take me over to the point where I said, "Okay, well this is it, I'm done." You know? I didn't allow that challenge to get me to the point where I was just, like, completely crushed it, and, and not full of any more dreams. Like, I didn't allow it to tear me down. I was stuck in the shock of it going, how do I keep it going? What do I do? And I kept everything open, so that when the new opportunity came, I was ready for it. And even though there were still things that needed to be done with the new opportunity, I knew that this was the place to be and, I am so, so, so grateful for that. Don't allow your challengers to push you to arenas that you never wanted to be in, and instead, allow those challenge to open your mind, allow them to keep you refreshed, allow them to have you looking for new possibilities, and allow them to help you to understand your blessings. When the challenges are there, and it seems like there's no way out or no way forward, there is a blessing waiting for you somewhere and it may not look at all like the first place you thought you needed to be at, it may be something completely new and different, but it is there, and it is waiting for you, and it is filled with opportunities if you allow yourself to remain open to accepting those possibilities. So today for the chocolate moment, I am talking about the Vermont Nut-Free Chocolate, 100% Peanut and Nut-Free Dark Chocolate Skippers. So if you're a person who loves your m&ms, but you just can't go there anymore, like, you know, I don't know what it is about m&m chocolate, but just affects me completely different, and I don't think it's just the milk in there, you know, saying. So if you are like me, and you're looking for an alternative, and you're looking for something that has a few less ingredients,'cause there are a lot of ingredients in these, this might be a thing for you. So faced with a challenge with regular conventional chocolate? Maybe switch to something that gives you more options. Now, this particular one, I have to admit, they're not m&ms, they're, they're not. But they are really good, and if you're looking for an alternative, this is definitely a way to go. And this is a situation where you might be faced with challenges, but if you open your mind, you may find that this is a great alternative for you. So I want to talk to you a little bit about peace. And believe me, there is a way to link peace back to dark chocolate skippers, you just wait and see. Because we don't just talk about chocolate, and we don't just encourage healthy chocolate eating, but we also encourage recognizing some of the things in your life are very much linked to one another. Some of the things that you do, there's a reason why it hits with you. Like, I was thinking the other day about, like going to a store and, and clothes shopping, and I look at certain things and go "Why would anyone ever want to wear that?" And I know for sure that people are looking at me sometimes going"What is she wearing?" I know that for a fact, but I like to dress in a way that reflects my personality, so you will see me with animal prints and bright colors and the whole shebang. Authenticity is important, so you got to own who you are on the inside and allow it to project to the outside. So I'm sitting there looking at clothing at a store a few days ago, and I'm looking at all the different options of tops, and I kept thinking "who would wear that, who would wear that, who would wear that?" Which is very funny, like, if you know me personally, and you've seen some of the things that I wear, it's it's actually even funnier that I would be concerned that people would be choosing this or that. But we all have our different style, we all have a different way of expressing ourselves and seeing ourselves in the world. And there are times, I have to admit, where we need to dress to fit the occasion. So, for instance, I have a speaking engagement and about a month and I know that it's more corporate events, so I will be dressed, there will be purple, but I will be dressed for a more corporate setting. I might have some fancy shoes on, we don't know, but I try to tone down the way that I dress and still express myself at the same time, and this gives me peace. Expressing myself in an authentic way gives me peace, and recognizing that I am being authentic in the way that I'm representing myself in a group setting, that gives me peace. Because you see, people can tell who I am, and maybe when I'm about, without even talking to me. Now, I think it's kind of a funny thing, I do have a lot of corporate background and advertising and all of that kind of thing, so when you see me you may not recognize that, like, if I'm wearing a big purple animal print something something, and, and you like see that you might not think "oh, she worked at a brokerage firm." You may not think that, but authentically, on the inside, I love color, and I love pattern, and I love expression, and I love to inspire smiles in people. And so if I am coming at my look, and the way that I present myself in a very authentic way, I have the ability to touch more people. When we're masquerading around in a way that doesn't really suit who we are on the inside, people don't know if they can trust us, if they can talk to us, like, they don't know what we're about, then. And sometimes the mystery is cool, don't get me wrong, but there are times when being authentically who we are on the inside can be very helpful in group situations. So if you're in a store, and you're picking out, I don't know, a stripe when I'm going for an animal print, I may not understand your choice, because I'm looking at you going, "what, you see way more fun than that stripe," but if you pair it with something that is incredibly cool, like, I don't know, some bright color or whatever, it might make more sense to me and I will feel more comfortable and safe talking to you, because I know that you know who you are. Do you follow what I'm saying? So while I was sitting there thinking about clothes shopping, and the way people head into stores, and whatever, I was thinking how cool it would be, if all of us started reflecting on the outside who we are on the inside. And you know, for some of us, maybe some limitation would be good. Like, I don't know that I'd really want to wear, I don't know, animal print from head to toe. That's not quite who I'm all about. Like, that's maybe too authentic. I like to tone things down a little bit. But if we could all project who we are truly in our hearts, the value of who we are, then wow, we can have a much easier time communicating with one another, and we could value one another so much more. And that's one of the reasons why I chose the dark chocolate skippers today. Like, maybe, you know, you, you are like me, and going for a conventional chocolate is just not in the cards. Maybe you need to, again, like me, go for chocolates that are dark, and have very few ingredients so that you can really maximize the antioxidants, and you can really make sure that what it is that you're eating is something you're not going to react to. Maybe you are in that category, so you when you go for that kind of chocolate, you get peace from that. But one of the lovely things about m&ms, or in this case, the skippers, they're all different colors. They're all sort of wild in the way that they look when you hold them in your hand. It's like skittles as well, or, um, giggles, which is sort of the healthier version of a Skittle. Like, they're fun because they're so colorful, so this would be a way of of being authentic, authentic and expressing yourself, and giving yourself peace because you know that you reflecting what you are on the inside, on the outside, which is fun, and and crazy, and awesome, and easy to talk to, and a lot more courageous than, perhaps, you're expressing right now. So let chocolate remind you of peace. Let color and vibrancy, remind you of peace. Allow what you feel on the inside, the authentic you, the person who isn't jaded by other people's opinions, allow that to remind you of peace, and then live that. You will achieve what your mind believes, so if you are believing in limitation, you're never going to make it. Ouch, that was really harsh, right? But it's true, it's true. If you're constantly thinking of the limitations, you will never find your path. So in that moment when that gentleman told me, "Hey, give me more money or you're out," I could have very easily said "Oh man, that's it, I'm done, I'm screwed, this is never going to happen, I guess I'm closing up shop." No, I wondered if it was the end, I wondered how I was going to keep going, but I hadn't thrown in the towel, I still had dates chosen for future events, and I just sat back and I waited, because I knew, I knew even though the path I had envisioned was no longer there, that some new situation was going to come. You will achieve what your mind believes, so leave the door open and challenging moments. Don't allow your challengers to push you into arenas you never wanted go. Allow the challenges to open up doors you can look into and say "is that the direction I want to go?" But don't allow yourself to be pushed somewhere you don't want to go. What? Like, who wants that? Nobody. Nobody wants to be pushed to do things they don't want to do. Believe that what you're meant to experience is what is in your life, like believe it right now. And this is a hard one, I know, for some people, you've, it's a hard concept. Because if you're going, "I want to be a millionaire," and I'm telling you, "you need to believe what you want is in your life right now," and you're like, "yeah, but there's like $2 in my account right now, that doesn't even make sense, I don't have the million dollars," what I'm saying is, your mindset needs to be that of a person who has the million dollars. Your mindset needs to be that of the person who is full of the success that you wish to see, your mindset needs to be that of a handful of colored chocolate, the excitement, the vibrance, the yumminess, that is what your mindset needs to be. All Things change, so why not create the change before it even becomes materialized in your life. Allow it to be part of your mindset. If you don't want those challenges to push you into arenas you never wanted, then tell yourself that you're not going to be doing anything, unless you decide it's where you want to be. Allow yourself to say to yourself, "I am only going to make choices that bring peace to my life," and then do that. All things change, you need to be in charge of the change. You need to be the one who dictates what your mindset is going to be and how your life is going to be moving forward. What is meant to be in your life will come to you, and will come back to you no matter how far it has to travel. But it will only do that if you believe that that is how it is meant to be. Believe that what you want is what you were meant to experience. Believe it, and believe it now, and then you will achieve what your mind believes, it is so incredibly amazing. Now, if, again, I always use this example, but trust me, if you're believing that you're the queen of England, there's a lot at play there. So you need to make sure that what you believe is actually something you can attain, because if you're not in the bloodline to become a king or queen of England, it's not going to happen my love, so you need to stay realistic about it, but you also need to step beyond the comfort zone of where you're at right now. You're the one in charge, you are the one who can step into an arena you want to be in, you are the one who dictates what your path is going to be. Why? Because you've got the superpower of choice. So make a choice now. Reach for the chocolate skippers, reach for the color and the pattern and the vibrancy. Choose a life now that you know that you were meant to have, and then allow the doors to open in front of you and then choose which door you will go into. I am determined to increase self-awareness and help people to really value what it is that is special about who they are and what they can bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed to this fabulous program called Celebrate You to help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life, so that you can find value at every turn, and to design a life that is more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Start Celebrating You by checking out Celebrate You on BetsDanko.Com and signing up today. Experience the Wisdom that helps to Motivate and Empower you in relationships, business, family, and most importantly, self-celebration. Getting the picture? It's Wisdom and it's all about you. Want to hear the Chocolate? Tune in to Wisdom & Chocolate weekly.