Appreciate Your Potential

When you surround yourself with people of high quality, your quality of life goes up. So surround yourself with honest people, people who are strong in their integrity, people who are compassionate. Doing so will encourage you to engage in a more meaningful way with others. If you're trying to achieve your goals, or get to places that you have been working toward for a good long time, surrounding yourself with quality people can positively impact your progression.  Appreciate your potential by aligning with the people who are reflecting the qualities of true success. 

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Highlights:

Align Your Life With People Of High Quality

Appreciate Your Potential For Growth

Your Words Become Your Reality

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Transcript

0:03

It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate. Hello, hello, this is Bets Danko, and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. And today we're talking about you, as we do most days. But today we're talking about your potential, and you appreciating your potential. So if you're feeling like, "I don't even know what that means, man," this is probably the right episode for you. So, let's get started. So the very first thing I want to talk to you about is the people in your life. You know, all those people. Your family, your friends, your work associates, the people that you hang out with on the weekends, there is a lot that we can learn about ourselves by looking at the people around us. I think it kind of goes without saying that, when you surround yourself with people of high quality, your quality of life goes higher. So when you surround yourself with honest people, people who are strong with their integrity, people who are compassionate, you're bound to have a more respectful and honest relationship with these people. That brings up your level of honesty and integrity and compassion. Because when you surround yourself with good people, you tend to mirror their good qualities. And the same is true when you surround yourself with people of not so high quality. The people who lie, who cheat, who get angry at every little thing, the people who are filled with jealousy, or spite, these are qualities that do not serve them. And when you're around them, you kind of become tainted by those qualities. So it's important that you've choose the people around you well. Now, that's not to say that you just turn your back on people who are struggling, that's not what I'm saying at all. If somebody struggles with dishonesty, like they literally have a hard time telling the truth, it might be a good idea, for a little bit, to help them to understand what it is that sort of going off the rails. And in that way, you wouldn't be turning them away, you might be helping them by getting them to recognize that when they're dishonest with people, nobody trusts them, and when people don't trust them, they lose opportunity, and when they lose opportunity, any sense of fulfillment from their life starts to fade away. So I'm not saying you must surround yourself only with great people, because you should just turn your back on every other person. No. But when you are spending quality time, when you are doing networking, going out with people, when you're sitting having conversations that empower you or help you to move forward, well, then yes, you need to surround yourself with high quality people. And I would say that the bulk of people around you should be high quality. If you're trying to achieve your goals, get to places that you have been working for for a good long time, surrounding yourself with quality people can really impact your progression. And it's important to note, it's not just about spending time with cool people. No, when you align your life with the people of high quality, then you are mirroring each other. So if you see them as successful people, what's going to happen, you will start seeing success yourself. If you want to be around people that will help you in your quest to achieve your goals, then be around quality people. And if what you're trying to do requires you to be around dishonest people, or people who have low integrity markers, ooh, or who are just not compassionate, do not have grace, well, then you might want to choose different goals, because ultimately your life is not going to be a happy one. And the other thing to note is that a lot of times when these people have these qualities which are not serving them or you, a lot of times these people are the ones who talk about you behind your back. They say things and do things about you when you're not there. Can you be sure that they're not saying anything horrible about you? If the people who are around you are respecting you to your face, but not respecting you when you're not in the room, then those are not the people you want to be around. That right there is a marker for low integrity, right there. So this is exactly the kind of person I'm saying, you know, if there's a lesson for them to be learned, don't turn your back on them, but do not rely on them to help you progress in your life. Now, there's some people who say, respect the people who respect you. But I say respect all people, just recognize the people you should be aligning with. So take a quick little moment and think about the people who are in your life. Think about your networking, are you going to networking meetings? Are you hanging out with other business people on the weekends or in the evening for networking meetings? When you go to parties, are you making an attempt to meet multiple people, so that you can really get a feel for the people in the room and see who you align with, or who you wish to align with? When you are going to functions, like you're going to church, or you're going to a new restaurant, or you're going to a new bar that you like to go to, are you taking the time to sort of scan your surroundings, look at the people in the room and and figure out who you align with? It's important than if you don't have your tribe, your integrity tribe, if you don't have that, you need to find one. So the way to find when is actually open communication with the people around you. And again, you don't immediately walk away from people who are not aligning with where you're going in life, you don't do that, you give everyone respect. But when it comes to making appointments, or opening opportunities for you to get together another time, choose the people you want to align with, or you already align with, first. And the reason I say that is because it's important that we build up those positive and beautiful qualities within ourselves. It helps us to do that, so when we're put in situations where we can help others and help lift them up, we have more energy and fuel to do so. I have had the privilege of knowing some really fabulous people in my life. I've met, just some incredible people. And I'm willing to bet that many of them would not fit the mold that you might be envisioning right now, because some of the best people I know, have had no money, and some have had a lot of money. So money is not something that really plays into any of the categories I just gave you, nor does political affiliation, nor does medical choices, nor does choosing to go to church or not going to church. Your level of honesty, integrity, compassion, has nothing to do with the kind of car that you drive. It has nothing to do with where you vacationed to last year. It has nothing to do with what type of clothing you wear, or even who your other friends are. It has nothing to do with your status in your job. Because people from all walks of life and all backgrounds have an equal opportunity to embrace honesty, integrity, and compassion, or not embrace those things. So if I'm trying to align myself with people of high quality, it has nothing to do with whether or not they're successful, quote, unquote, so you can't see my quotes. It has nothing to do with how successful that person is on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. In fact, most of the lives that I see on there, I do question. Are these things really happening for these people? Right? It has nothing to do with that, it has to do with your heart. Where's your heart? Where's your mind? How was your decision making these days? Are you making decisions which are honest? Are you standing behind your integrity like you're really owning it? And how is your compassion level? Are you helping to lift others up? Do you care about other people? Are you caring to the point that you're willing to listen to the opinions of others? Whoo. That's a hard one, right? It seems like in this day and age, nobody wants to listen to one another. Well, I'll tell you, if I'm surrounding myself with people of high quality, those people listen. They can have their own points of view, that's totally fine. In fact, I appreciate other points of view. But when it comes right down to it, I want to know that you have enough humility to listen when other people are speaking. You don't have to agree, but you do need to have the respect for their opinions. So today I want to talk to you about the Dark Chocolate Truffle Bar from Trader Joe's. This is organic, and it comes in a little box, and so you get the little box, and then you pull the chocolate out, and you rip off the little wrapper on the inside. It's very cute. And this is organic cocoa, organic cane sugar, organic cocoa butter, organic oil blend, which is sunflower, and canola, and/or safflower oil. So there's not a lot in this candy bar, and unfortunately, it does say "may contain milk, soy, wheat, peanuts, blah, blah, blah," basically, it's saying it is being made in a facility where all of these allergens are, so they can't guarantee that you won't find these allergens in the chocolate bar. But these are not some of the main ingredients that you would find on the back of the packaging. So, so if you're like me, and you have a lot of allergies, and you're sensitive to the degree that you just can't even be around these things, well, this isn't the bar for you. But if you are even closer to me, and you recognize, "oh, I am very sensitive, sensitive to these things, but I can handle one or two bites," well, then you know, it's a big bar, so you might have this bar for about six months if you're taking tiny tiny bites, but it's well worth it. Very good bar, very smooth, the taste is fabulous, the texture is fabulous, I do recommend this one. So this chocolate moment is all about character. And definitely this chocolate bar has character that the the wrapper is just so different than any other chocolate bar that I've seen recently, the artwork on it, the whole bit. You know, honestly, it does sort of fit the branding of Trader Joe's. So if you can imagine that in a box around a piece of candy, that's basically it. And so it has a lot of character, but in our lives, we're not wrapped in boxes with pretty pictures on them, and we don't have beautiful colors wrapped around us, or foil wrappers around our insides, thank goodness, I think that would be very uncomfortable. We don't have any of that kind of character, our character comes from the way that we think of life, the way we all react to life, and the way we behave. It's important that we appreciate all of the challenges that are going on in our lives. And it's also important that we recognize that everyone else is facing challenges. There are many times when I'm out in public, and I witness, just people just not being cool with one another. You know I'm saying? Like, the amount of times I've been in a checkout line, and the person in front of me is just berating the person behind the counter, I can't even tell you. And then you get up to the counter and the person just looks like they've been, I don't know, beat upside the head. I mean, it just, it's super sad. So you make a comment, or you say something sweet, or whatever, to try to brighten up their day. But man, the people who are willing to get out there and do mean things to one another, where is their integrity? Where's their compassion, right? How low is that character of theirs? Do they appreciate the challenge, whatever that challenge was, they're yelling at somebody else about, do they appreciate the challenge, or are they just run it around blaming other people for it? Here's the deal, the challenges that you have been given were given to you so that you could learn from them. So that you could embrace the learning experience and everything that is to come afterwards. If you're thinking challenges are just a pain in the butt, like you don't want to deal with this anymore, and you're just super angry about every challenge that is in your path, then you're missing the point. I mean, you know, you got to take some time. Why is this challenge here? Why am I involved with it? What is it that I need to do to overcome this? How do I do it with grace? How do I overcome this while being honest with myself and the people involved? How do I hold on to my integrity while I react? These are all things that you need to master, and trust me, I, there are times when I sort of lose my cool. There are certain things that I just do not have a lot of patience for, and the biggest one is disrespect. I have a really hard time with people who disrespect me, or other people around me. That tells me a lot. If you're walking around disrespecting other people, that tells me you don't have respect for yourself. Yike, right? That's like, not something anyone wants to hear. "What do you mean I don't have respect for myself?" If you are attacking other people, then you don't have enough confidence and pride to hold yourself up high, and to speak kind words at people. That doesn't mean you can't react, you, absolutely if you're stuck in a challenging situation where somebody is coming at you, and you need to react, yes, react, but react after taking a breath, getting your thoughts straight, and speaking in a way that is direct, but not disrespectful. Do you follow what I'm saying? You want to be one of these people that other people want to align with. You want to be the honest person in the room. You want to be the person that everybody says "look at them, they are full of integrity." You want other people to know that you have compassion. And why do you want these things? Because you want other people to want to align with you, that builds stronger relationships, that gives opportunity for networking, it gives opportunity for growth in your life, and in the lives of the people around you. We are meant to have community. We're not meant to just sort of be islands of our own, running out, doing our own thing and never having anything to do with anybody else. Not only is that very lonely, but it's counterproductive for anything that you might wish to do in your life. Community is very important. Community, as we talked in a previous podcast, actually lends to your level of safety. If you feel that you have community, you will feel safer in your own life, and the honest truth is you will be safer. So appreciate the potential of your growth. Appreciate the challenges that are put before you. Every challenge is there to teach you, so that you can make it to the next thing that's in your path. If you're just tired of challenge, and you don't want to deal anymore, you're basically saying "I'm tired of walking my path. I'm tired of trying to get to where I'm supposed to be, or to the goals that I have set for myself." What you're seeing is, "I'm done with life. I'm just going to go to my stupid job, and drive my stupid car, and meet with my friends who don't respect me or care about me and are never honest with me, in fact, I'm just gonna meet with these people who talk about me behind my back and disrespect me at every turn." Like, what kind of life is that? That's not a life that is pleasant, or happy, or uplifting, that's a life that doesn't feel good. That's a life that leaves you wanting more. The moments of challenge in your life, build character, embrace those moments. They prepare you for what's coming next. And if you're not prepared for what's coming next, then you will be knocked down. So allow the challenges to come, stand a little bit taller, take a deep breath, allow yourself to react with integrity, honesty, and compassion, and if the person is really getting in your space, be direct, be strong. You can be strong and direct without being disrespectful. It is possible. Some people feel like it's not, like "nah, that person got my face, I'm just gonna yell at them." Okay, go ahead and yell at them, but if you're gonna disrespect them, expect to get disrespect in return. And I think another thing that's important to talk about along these lines is the way that you speak to other people. The things that you say, the words that you choose, have meaning and those words can help to predict what's coming up in the future. Your words are psychic, man. You know, what you say does hold enough energy in your life that the words you use can change the trajectory of your entire timeline, seriously. If you're sitting back thinking I'm stupid, and you say, "I'm stupid," that, those are two totally different levels of vibration going on. Thinking it and saying it. Thinking it is pretty tragic to begin with, because you're the one who's with you 24 hours a day, so if you're saying nasty things to yourself 24 hours a day, wow, you need to work on that relationship. That's what I'm saying. You need to start changing the way you talk to yourself. But the other level is actually saying the words out loud. Somehow saying the words out loud, make the situation real. So when you say I'm stupid, and you say it out loud, you're making it real. Yike. Like, How many times have we said things like that? "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I just did this stupid thing. Wow, what an idiot. I am. Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I would be so dumb." Like, these are things that actually create vibration, that have meaning that have power that you've just let out of the box. And they take on a whole life of their own. People hear what you say, you hear what you say, that makes it real. Do you really want to be that person? I don't think so. And in fact, I think if you're listening to this podcast, what you're looking for is some positive words that help you go "oh, well, I should really change that so that my life is a little better, right?" The words we speak become our reality. You don't want psychic words that are bringing up a life that isn't going to be serving you. Your words become the definition of your life. You don't want that, unless they're good words. The words that you speak define you. I was in this conversation with a group of people, oh gosh, it was a couple of years ago, and I I remember them all assuming that I had the same opinions that they did. And as they're there, saying horrible, horrible things about others, I just sat there quietly. So the assumption became that I was on the other side. And it was an interesting thing to watch as the faces of the people in the group started changing when they looked at me, like "why isn't she taking part in this? Why isn't she saying nasty things about these people? Why isn't she trying to do something that's mean to other people?" It was a very interesting thing, but here I am, I am going to stick to my integrity, I am going to show compassion, I am going to be honest with what it is I feel and what it is that I am assessing from this situation. And what I was assessing was these are very hateful, angry people who I thought were very kind. I happen to be in the middle of this conversation without even participating in it, and now I'm realizing what's really in their hearts. Now, I'm realizing that these are not people I wish to align with, no matter what their standing is in the community, no matter how much other people praise them, if they are not living up to the standards that I hold for myself, at minimum, then they are not people that I wish to align with. Now I didn't walk away from them and say nasty things or any kind of thing like that, because part of my picture of high quality doesn't include that type of behavior. But I was silent, and they did come at me and start asking me questions about what I believed, and what I felt was important in life, and they did it in a way that was very unkind. And as they did that, I was direct, and I was kind, and I was compassionate, because I felt that they deserve to compassion, because they deserve my respect being humans just as I am. But I also answered the questions in a way that led them to understand that love was the most important route, not saying horrible things about others and in, in all honesty, what I did was answer the questions by giving them lessons on how to be kind to other people without letting them know that that's what I was doing. And you know, there are ways to manipulate words to get people to think about what it is they're doing without calling them out on it, and that's basically what I did. And I walked away from this situation knowing in my heart that they were probably going to start talking about me next, and that's okay. That that's where they were, that was the the low vibration that they needed to express at that moment, I didn't need to be part of it, I knew what I was, like what role I was playing in their lives from that point forward, which was to be a punching bag behind my back, and that's okay, because at that point, I recognized they were not part of the tribe I wanted to be around, and I recognized that they were not facing their challenges in a way that was building their character. I also recognized that these people did not align with the level of high quality that I wished to be around. I was still kind to them, when I saw them, I said hello, all of that sort of thing, but you weren't going to see me hanging out with them. And you weren't going to see me allowing myself to be dragged into conversations that were there to beat up on other people behind their backs. It's time to respect yourself and appreciate your potential. Your potential comes from recognizing all of the gifts that you've been given, and then aligning yourself with people of high quality, and then also facing your challenges with character. Appreciating your potential comes with speaking words that become your reality, and you do that intentionally. When you recognize your potential, you recognize all of the beautiful things about you, and the probability of growing into something even more fabulous than what you are right now. Your potential lies within you and also within your actions. Align yourself with people of high quality, be yourself, always, always, but make sure that the language that you're using inside your head is positive. And make sure that the things that you say actually align with what it is you want to accomplish. The words you speak become your reality. It's one thing to think negative things about yourself, but anything that comes out of your mouth becomes your reality. So stop speaking the words that are demeaning to yourself and to other people, and change the way you're seeing the world, change the way you're assessing your surroundings. Do this so that you can appreciate your potential and embrace growth. I am determined to increase self-awareness, and help people to really value what it is that is special about who they are and what they can bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed this fabulous program called Celebrate You to help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life, so that you can find value at every turn, and design a life that is more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Start Celebrating You by checking out Celebrate You on BetsDanko.Com and signing up today. Experienced the Wisdom that helps to Motivate and Empower you in relationships, business, family and most importantly, self-celebration. Getting the picture? It's Wisdom and it's all about you. Want to hear the Chocolate, tune into Wisdom & Chocolate weekly.