Understanding Your Needs

You need to feel as though your life matters. You need to feel as though you are contributing something, that you have significance, that you being here on the earth means something. Your purpose is directly tied to your actions. This is something that you have a great deal of control over. What it is that you do, and how you are in service to yourself and to others, helps to dictate what your purpose is and how significant you feel.

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

Food and Shelter

Companionship and lineage

Purpose

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Transcript

0:03

It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate. I am Bets Danko and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. This is an extra episode in the schedule of things. Why? Because I recognize it's important that we talk about your needs. It's important to understand our needs and why they're there. It's important that we have clarity on what it is that we might be lacking, and why. When we are understanding our situation, and why we feel angst, or we feel like there's a little bit of chaos in our lives, we can fix things or take steps toward making things more positive for ourselves. So it's time we talk about understanding your needs. If I asked you, hey, what do you need? Like, what do you need in life? What would be the first thing that comes to your mind? Would it be the obvious? Maybe what you need right now is a ham sandwich. I have no idea. But is it something that you understand on a daily basis? Like, food and water, let's say, these are things that you actually need in order to survive. What else do you need to survive? Food, water, shelter, and what? Sometimes the things that we need are not as obvious as they should be. And not only that, even if we need them and they are obvious, sometimes we don't even understand how to get to those things that we want. We do need food and shelter. Why? Because we need to feel safe, and we need to feel protected. When we feel safe and protected, we have calm. And when we are calm, we can feel more centered. This is a very important thing. Feeling safe is what allows you growth. And when we have that shelter in place, we are less likely to get attacked by animals, to have issues with, with insects, to have issues with other people who wish to do us harm. We need to feel safe on a physical level, this is just sort of a baseline need. If you don't feel safe, you're always on guard. If you're always on guard, you're always under stress. If you're always under stress, your life is shorter. So it's a quality of life thing, and it's a happiness thing. Now, if you've ever listened to me talk about the power of three, you'll know that that is a formula that I have set up to help me progress a little bit more and a little quicker in my life. And it is something that comes from clarity, clarity is super sexy. And the more you understand about what it is that you need and you want, the faster you can come up with solutions to get to where you want to be. So clarity is at the root of the power of three. The power of three is a formula that allows you to choose three different words that get you to an understanding of what it is you wish to accomplish. And when you supercharge that with belief, then wow, it really amplifies what it is you're trying to get done. So the power of three, when it comes to our needs, starts with an awareness word, and the awareness word is belong. We have a need to belong. We need companionship, we need to know our lineage, where did we come from? We have comfort when we belong, and belonging comes down to connection, love, admiration family, it's those interpersonal relationships, and even the relationships that are not active at this moment. Lineage is extremely important. We as humans have this need to know where we came from. And when we don't know that, we feel very lost. And we have an angst that's sort of built into who we are. When you belong and you feel safe, you are more than halfway there and understanding your needs. Companionship and lineage, super important. Food and shelter, are super important. The last thing has to do with purpose. You need to feel as though your life matters. You need to feel as though you are contributing something, that you have a significance, that your being here on the earth means something. You need to feel as though There is purpose, and your purpose is directly tied to your actions. So this is actually something that you have a great deal of control over. What it is that you do, and how you are in service to yourself and to others, helps to dictate what your purpose is, and how significant you feel. If everything you do is there to serve you only, and you're never in service to other people, where's your significance? If everything that you're doing is very self serving, how are you contributing? If every time you sit back and you wonder about what you might do in the day, it's all about you, how does your life matter? The way that we fit in with society, the puzzle piece of our life, fitting in with society, that helps us to understand our purpose, and how we can contribute. And it can be a little thing, like you, you don't have to dedicate your entire life to serving others. You don't have to do that. But it could be as simple as donating your time, it can also be having an actual job in a position, which provides service. You need to have purpose, there has to be a reason for you to be here. You need to feel as though you matter, that what you're doing is important on some level, and it doesn't have to be 24 hours a day. You don't have to be in service to other people every waking moment, but if that is an element of your life, your sense of purpose starts going up. And it can go through the roof when you start recognizing how much of an impact you have on the people around you. When you belong, you have a tendency to feel safer, and you feel as though you matter. When you have community, community can help to find you food, help to build your shelter, they can help you feel safer. When you belong, your safety, or your ability to be safe, goes higher. When the things that you do hold purpose, they help you to feel a sense of belonging. Even if you can't find your lineage. Even if you didn't have brothers and sisters or parents have passed on, you can still feel as though you belong if you have purpose in relation to other people. Family is family, that's bloodlines, right? But sometimes the people around you can provide a safety net that is very much like family, that can help to provide you with a purpose, companionship, and ultimately, safety. So where are you in this formula? And and this this picture that I'm painting? Do you have the food that you need? Do you have the the lodging that you need? Are you feeling good and safe and secure on that level? If you're not feeling safe and secure on that level, have you identified any of the services that are within reach, to help you get to what you need? Some of these things are very easy to find, searching online, speaking with other people, heading over to a church, asking people in public service to help you. There are ways to get the services that you need. Or are you recognizing that there's something not quite serving you on the level of companionship, lineage, belonging? What is it that doesn't feel complete with your companionship?

Maybe you wish to have a loving relationship, a romantic relationship, and that relationship isn't coming to light at this moment? Well, maybe going to networking events, finding groups that you can be a part of, getting around other people is a key element. If you want to have lasting relationships that, that are not present in your life right now, you need to get yourself around people. So in those moments when you're online, or you're in front of the television, or you're making choices that separate you from interacting with other people, make a different choice. Flip it around. Come up with a different idea on how to get yourself out there. You're looking for opportunities to connect, so get yourself to events around you that can provide the opportunity to connect with other people. Or, what is it that you do for a living? What is your job? Are you feeling like that's not serving yourself or anyone? Are you feeling as though you're not very connected to any of that, that you're not leaving a mark? That nothing that you're doing is getting you recognition, or a sense that you belong? There are opportunities out there, and applying for those opportunities can be very fruitful. If it has nothing to do with work, if your work is good, but you still feel like you've got no purpose, then how might you serve other people? You can volunteer at a local library, there are zoos, and community theaters, and art museums that need people who are willing to volunteer and come in to help. These are ways that you can find purpose beyond your work. So I encourage you to look at all of these things, and if you are in a moment in your life where you're feeling like, you just don't even understand like, what the heck's going on, and where are you here? You don't know what your purpose is, and you're feeling unsettled, but you can't quite figure it out, something in these areas might be lacking. So dedicate the time. Focus on you. Look at the things that are in place that are solid and good, and then figure out why you were unsettled. It's probably lying in the areas where you don't quite feel complete. But then here is the final piece and the most important piece: 8:43

do something about it. Identifying is awesome, clarity is so super fabulous. But if you don't do anything with that clarity, then nothing will change. So figure out what it is that you need, and then take action, you have superpowers go ahead and exercise them. And one of the biggest superpowers that you have is the ability to make decisions and choices. So exercise that, figure out what you need, and then take action. I am determined to increase self-awareness, and help people to really value what it is that is special about who they are and what they can bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed this fabulous program called Celebrate You, to help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life, so that you can find value at every turn, and to design a life that is more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Start Celebrating You by checking out Celebrate You on BetsDanko.Com and signing up today. Experience the Wisdom that helps to Motivate and Empower you in relationships, business, family, and most importantly, self-celebration. Getting the picture? It's Wisdom and it's all about you. Want to hear the Chocolate? Tune into Wisdom & Chocolate weekly.