Words Hold Power

Today we take a shallow dive into The Power of Three.  There is power in words. The words you choose hold meaning. If you're not progressing and you're not moving forward, think of the words that you are using. Think of the moments when you're using them. If they're not supporting you, flip them around, choose more positive words. Do you feel like you’re stagnating? Maybe it’s because you’re procrastinating. Why are you procrastinating? Maybe it’s because you are struggling to figure out what is meaningful in your life.  Put your challenges and your goals into words that support a more positive outcome and then act on them. 

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Highlights:

Awareness

Action

Results

The Power of Three

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Transcript

0:03

It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom. & Chocolate. This is Bets Danko and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. Welcome, it's good to have you here. Today we're gonna be talking about words of words, hold power. That is the topic for today. And I'm sure you're aware of this. But you know, sometimes we need a little bit of a reminder. The things that you say, actually do matter. And it's also important to note that when you choose your words wisely, you can actually affect change within yourself and the people around you. And I think one of the most obvious examples of that is when you're in a group of people, and you are trying to, perhaps pull attention to yourself, and also express your displeasure with whatever it is that's going on. And so you say, this is really stupid. And the people around you, most likely being your friends, they want to make sure that you feel comfortable. That you recognize that you've got allies in the room. And so automatically, even if they weren't thinking that whatever it is that they're involved in is stupid, now they do. They're thinking, wow, okay, what do they mean by that? Well, yeah, that is kind of stupid. And they sort of go along. And sometimes they don't go along. They're very much into making up their own minds and that's a fabulous thing. But just putting the word out there, stupid, can change the energy of the entire situation. And I've recognized this in my life many, many times where there are certain words that are said to me, or about me, or around me, that really catch my attention. And many times they're not words that I wish to hear. Sometimes they're words that are painful, and they affect me, and they stay with me. And most of those words have had to do with the way that I look, or the way that I talk, or you know, sometimes people are misreading my intentions and they decide things about me and then they say things which are completely inaccurate, like 100% ...125% inaccurate. And there are times when people use words that can be painful to help. Like, they actually choose the words, knowing that they are painful words to hear, but they're trying to elicit a response - get you to, to react, or do something that maybe you wouldn't have done otherwise. In one of these moments that I'm referring to, where someone has said something that was painful to me, the person used three words. And all through my life circles and the number of three and spirals specifically have always meant something. It's almost like when I need to have something accentuated in in the way that I am understanding a situation, something happens in the form of a circle, a three or a spiral. I don't know why that is. It's kind of like when people, you know, they look down at their watch and every time they look down, it's a 111, or a 333. Or, you know, who knows what that actually means. But to that individual person, it means something. It gets them to take note of the moment - to think of things a little differently in that moment. And it doesn't really matter if, you know, just subconsciousl you recognize it's 333 in the afternoon and so you're sort of looking at your watch. It doesn't matter the reason, it's the fact that seeing that or experiencing that or hearing a certain thing can actually get you to respond in a way that creates change. And for me, it's circles, spirals, and the number three. And so when I was in this situation I was referring to, I was in a class. And I was looking for an opportunity to express myself and to experience things a little differently than I had been most recently. And and so I went to this class. And it was a musical theater performance class. And the teacher in the class after I got done performing said that I was annoying, whiny and repetitive. Yes, I'm admitting that. I'm admitting that on my podcast. I was told I was annoying, whiny and repetitive. It was a painful thing to hear. Absolutely. But it was three words. It was a combination of energy, three different words that were being said. And so for me, you know, I didn't like to hear it. I got upset about it. I didn't want to go back to the class. I wanted nothing to do with the situation anymore. I don't react very well to disrespect and I read that as a moment of disrespect. But at the same time, it was three words. So there were some reason why I needed to hear those three words in that combination at that moment. And it took me a really long time to understand why. But I did get the gift of those words. And by the way, I did go back to the class. And the reason why I went back to class was to prove this person wrong. And I did. So that was a wonderful thing. But annoying, whiny, and repetitive. Those are three different words. And this kind of feeds into my course, my online course called The Power of Three. And it also is one of the main segments of of one of my favorite speeches that I give. The power of three. The power of three in this particular situation was presented to me in a way that was painful. I didn't want to hear something like that. I wanted to just go take a class and have fun. But no, this person was pushing me. She saw something in me so she used three words that were painful to me to get me to react. And I have to say, she was taking a gamble. There, there was like a big gamble going on here, because I could have easily just walked away. But she saw something and she wanted to push, and it ended up paying off. And there's there's another grouping of three words that are meaningful to me. And these are words that I actually chose for myself. And in fact, there are alarms on my computer that ask me if I am working with these words the way that I intend to during the day. They're also up on my battle board. So they're on the wall right next to me. And, and I think of them frequently, because they are drivers. They're energy makers. They are empowering words. And these words are clarity, drive, and focus. Clarity is my awareness word. I'm looking for clarity. Drive is my action word. I am, you know, looking for the drive, I'm going for the drive, the drive has to do with pushing myself forward. It's my action word. And then of course, what it is that I'm trying to get out of the situation is focus. Get clarity, so that I know what it takes to get to the goal that I have at hand. Getting clarity means thinking everything through. It means figuring out what needs to be done. It means looking at the gifts that I already have, and the things that I might need to learn in order to push myself forward. clarity comes before the drive. Sometimes it happens at the same time because you know, if you're procrastinating about the things that you need to get done, and part of what you need to get done is the clarity, of course, you need a little bit of drive in order to get beyond that procrastination. But once you have the clarity, then you can actually take action. Because any action before you know what it is you need to get done is sort of just like standing there in the middle of field flapping your arms around, like you're not really getting anywhere, right. So the drive happens during and after the clarity and then comes focus because what I'm really trying to get to is that focused state, where all I'm thinking about is the thing that needs to get done and how to get there. Focus is the goal. It's the result of having clarity, and then employing the drive. Focus. So when I'm looking at the power of three, I'm looking at three different words that feed into one another and support a common goal. When it comes to that first example I gave you with the annoying, whiny, and repetitive, annoying was kind of what she thought about me. This this teacher looked at me and went, Oh my gosh, this is annoying, right? And why was it annoying? It was the fact that I seemed whiny to her. What I was saying was annoying her because I came across as whiny. And then of course, that became repetitive in her mind. Like everything I said came across as whiny and she was annoyed. You see so it's Awareness Action Result words - annoying, whiny, repetitive - that all feed into one another to create whatever it is that's going on. And in the moment where she said those words to me, she was trying to get me to act and come up with different words in my mind that would project me forward. In my understanding of the way that my mind works and the minds of many of the people that I work with, I recognize that unless you have an awareness of what is going on with you, and a desire to get to a different spot in your life, you will not get the results that you are going for. So you need three words together in a formula if you're really trying to get to a goal that is going to propel you forward. But there's another component to this as well, because you really have to believe the words that you're using in order for any of these formulas to work. And the belief can come on multiple levels. Like you can believe that you are the word or that this word is actually happening. Or you could believe that this particular word is the thing that you are striving toward. Like it is a thing that exists that you are on your path to achieving. But there has to be that level of belief somewhere in there. If you don't believe the three words, then they're just words. They're just fluff. They fly in the sky. And if you say them out loud, somebody else might latch on to them and actually do something with them. So there has to be an element of belief. I believe that clarity is essential. It's also sexy. When I have clarity, I feel so empowered. I feel like I can achieve anything. So I believe that any time that I'm going toward any goal, clarity has to be part of the formula. It's got to be one of my words. Every moment, even if you feel like you've got all the clarity you need, and you know exactly what needs to happen. Every moment of your life, you get another opportunity to reassess. Clarity is a living word. It is something that changes, and it evolves and it becomes every single moment of your life. So once you think you have clarity, just keep gaining more. Just keep thinking things through. And I'm not talking about obsessing to the point where you're like thinking about nothing else. No. Obviously, you've got to have a life and you gotta have other things going on. But if there is a specific goal, and you are not allowing yourself the resilience of change in the process of getting to the goal, then basically what is happening, you are not allowing yourself clarity. You're not allowing yourself to learn new things, and to employ new things as you're going toward a goal. So gain your sexiness. Go for the clarity. Really own your process of getting to clarity and believe the words that you are choosing when you are choosing to support yourself. So we want to talk a little bit more about the results word, that's the last word in the mix of things. This is what you are going for. Now there is a training for the members on my on my website. And in that training, I talk about three different words in the power of three. One is allow. That's your awareness word. The second one is act, that's your action word. And then the third one is trust. And all of these have to do with belief. You need to allow yourself the freedom to accept new ideas. You need to allow yourself the freedom to own the things that are new to you. And then you need to believe that you are an active participant in that allowing. And then the action word, which is act, has to do with you owning your belief system. When you're talking about belief, it's almost impossible to act in an authentic way or a genuine way unless you actually believe what it is that you're trying to do. Believing in that thing is what gives you the power to move forward and get to your results word, which in this case is trust. You need to trust that the beliefs that you have are supporting you. You need to trust that you have thought things through and you are acting from a place of knowing that your beliefs are there to support you. So in that training online, the three words - allow, act, and trust - having to do with belief give you freedom to learn and expand, give you the power, to make choices that are yours that allow you to own your morality and your integrity, and also trust that you've done the work and you understand where it is you're going and where you're coming from when it comes to your belief system. And the reason why I chose allow, act, and trust has to do entirely with that freedom. So when you're trying to employ the power of three, understand what it is you're trying to accomplish, but also understand what it is that's going to support that thing that you're trying to accomplish. In this case, it's freedom, We need to have the openness and the freedom to understand our own beliefs and then own them. So in using the power of three, and using words that support themselves and support one another in order to affect change, when we're talking about belief, using the three word combination of allow, act, and trust gives you the opportunity in the space to grow and the freedom to allow yourself to do so. Words hold power. Learning that the words hold power is a fabulous thing. But when you also learn to use the words and use the power that comes with the words in order to affect change, you are actively participating in your own propulsion into the things that you want to accomplish. So I'm gonna give you a few more examples, just so that you sort of get an idea of how you can use this to your advantage. So for awareness words, action words, and result words, here would be some, some combinations that could be very supportive to you. Maybe your awareness is that there's a struggle. Maybe your action word is that, yeah, you procrastinate. Maybe your result word is stagnate. In this situation. Your three words are just about awareness. You're of course not trying to get to stagnation, but you do want to recognize why you're there. Well, you're in the middle of a struggle that's that's making you procrastinate and everything that you want to do, and therefore you are stagnating. Got it? I understand now. In order to figure out those three words, you start with the result word and work your way back. Stagnating. Why am I stagnating? Because I'm procrastinating. I'm not doing anything that I want to do. Well, why am I procrastinating? Because I'm struggling to recognize what is really meaningful to me at this moment. Eww...Get it? The Power of Three. It helps you to understand the complete circle of what's going on. Another one...maybe it's focus, decide, progress. So let's break that one down. If you start with the results word, well, I really want to progress. I want to progress in my work, let's say. Okay, well, in order to progress, how am I going to do that? I need to make a decision. I need to make a decision about where I want to be and how much work I want to put into the goals I have for where I want to go. I need to make that decision. So if it's between job a or job B or job C, which one is going to get me to where I want to be? There's a decision that needs to be made. So what is my awareness word, focus. I need to focus. I need to focus on what it is that I want in order to make the decisions that are necessary to get to a level of progression toward where I want to be. Yes, three words. Focus, decide, progress. Three words that help to support, that create a complete circle, that help you to understand the situation and give you a power to make more decisions to propel yourself forward. It's the power of three. Three words that give you a complete picture that help you to create change. Yes. There is power in words. The words you choose hold meaning and they hold vibration. There's something about words that actually resonate differently from one person to the next. It has to do with the way that we've lived our lives and what those words have meant to us in our lives. And it also has to do with how we want to move forward. So I encourage you to think of the words that you're using. If while describing yourself you're using words like stupid, or ugly, or anything that is demeaning and holding you down... If you're using words like that, and they hold power, what are you coupling those words with? What is your power of three in that moment? What other two words are you using, that are unkind? If you're not progressing and you're not moving forward, think of the words that you are using. Think of the moments when you're using them. If they're not supporting you, flip them around, choose more positive words, put them in the categories of awareness, action, and result and create a more powerful formula for getting what you want. Use words to support you. Don't allow the words that you use to hold you back. I am determined to increase self awareness and help people to really value what it is that is special about who they are and what they can bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed this fabulous program called Celebrate You to help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life so that you can find value at every turn and design a life that is more fulfilling. So do a little extra, start Celebrating You by checking out celebrate you on BetsDanko.Com and signing up today. Experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in relationships, business, family and most importantly, self celebration. Getting the picture? It's wisdom and it's all about you. 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