It’s Time To Face The Truth

If you're practicing being lazy, this is a great podcast for you today. You may not be aware of what that is doing for you, or to you. So listen in… cause it’s time to face the truth. Yikes, right? Our main topic is letting go of what you thought life would be, and getting busy at creating the life you want. And let’s face it… laziness doesn’t get you to the life you want. So let’s get you motivated and moving forward.

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

If You’re Gonna Practice Being Lazy, You’re Gonna Be Lazy

Get Busy Creating The Life You Want

Even An Expert Needs To Learn A Few Things

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Transcript

0:03

It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate. Hello, this is Bets Danko and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. Now, if you're practicing being lazy, this is a great podcast for you today. Because if your practicing being lazy, you may not be aware of what that is doing for you, or to you. So we need to talk about laziness. We need to talk about a lot of stuff today, because our main topic is Letting Go of What You Thought Life Would Be, and getting busy at creating the life you want. Now, I am constantly working to ramp up my life. And yet, even when I'm trying really hard to stay focused, and I'm working on my drive, and I'm working on my motivation, I still have days where I'm just feeling lazy. I just really want to just sit there and do nothing. And the funny thing is that when I do that, like I lay down and I'm being lazy, almost always something starts going on in my head. Like, I'm thinking about the project that is going on, or something needs to be done inside the house, or I really need to get out and take care of the animals, or I need to, you know, clean the kitchen. It can be anything. It can be absolutely anything. And sometimes when I come out to my office, and I feel lazy that particular day, I, my mind won't allow me to just sit and putter around. I cannot not think of something. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know that you do. Like, even when you want to be lazy, there's some part of you that recognizes that productivity can actually be more beneficial to you. Because when you're not productive, what happens? Well, all that stuff you didn't do doesn't go away. It just multiplies like rabbits. Like, like supersonic rabbits. Like, they just keep producing. And you never really get ahead of the game. And if you work really hard in order to get ahead and get back on track, you are so stressed in the middle of all of that, because of the pressure...Oh, I gotta get this done...I was too lazy and into this thing yesterday...now I've got to do this, plus all the things that were supposed to happen today. Like, it creates this environment, that really slows you down in the long run. Because stress, while it may make you push a little harder and go a little faster, can make you not feel well, which makes your brain a little more sluggish, which makes you feel like you are not getting things done even when you are so you slow yourself down. We've got this really amazing thing as humans that we do. And maybe animals, some animals have this as well, but I'm a human, so I only know about me. And what it is, is that we love to prove ourselves right. We love to do that. And I think we are wired that way. Like, I don't think that this is a learned thing. We need to feel like we know what we're talking about. So when we are acting lazy, and being lazy, and telling ourselves we are lazy, we become lazy. In fact, we perfect laziness. And then we start telling people we're proud of how lazy we are, even though we're getting nothing done that propels our life forward. And it's just incredible to me that we actually cause ourselves to become perfect at the laziness. Now, let's put laziness aside. Let's look at, oh goodness, let's look at jealousy. Okay, jealousy. You are jealous of the people around you. You start telling yourself that you have a right to be that way. Well, I'm jealous of her because she has a husband who supports her career. I'm jealous of her because she's getting all these opportunities to sing in all these other places. Justification is, my husband doesn't like that and I don't get those opportunities so I'm frustrated. Why do they get that and I don't? You justify it by saying I don't get those things, why do they? What's going on with them? When, you know maybe it comes down to, well, you didn't choose the husband who would do that so you need to be okay with the choice, or you need to make a different choice to begin with. And the other thing is,you need to look at why they're being offered the jobs and you're not. Is it because you are not friendly? Is it your jealous behavior? Is it because you need to work a little bit more at your craft? Is it because you're not delivering on the same level as those other people? And what can you do to get yourself to that other level? Or is it because the areas where they sparkle are different from the areas where you do? And instead of looking at what they have, you need to respect and honor and appreciate the fact that you've got a place where people find value in your gifts. Like, everything comes down to you seeing things in a way that is either helpful or not helpful to you. And if you're practicing being jealous, and you're not stopping yourself from being that, if you're not looking at the more positive ways of seeing the situation, then you're going to become really good at it. You're going to perfect jealousy, to the point that people don't want to be around you. To the point where people who were loving with you and supporting you and helping you all along the way will start peeling away and will no longer be in your life. Yikes. Right? Let's take another example. If you practice saying to yourself, 'I'm stupid.' Like, everything that you do isn't good enough. 'I'm stupid, I've never been able to do that, I've never been good at this' - you know, if you're telling yourself that, and you are trained to prove to yourself that you are right, you're gonna perfect to that to the point where you do come across as stupid. Meanwhile, you never were. Perhaps you made one choice that bothered you. You felt like, man, that was really stupid, what I just did - and it snowballed. Maybe other people in your life have led you to believe that you are not capable of making wise decisions. Whatever the catalyst was, whatever that first thing was, you jumped on the bandwagon and you started trying to prove that that statement was right. No, no, don't do this. If you want to perfect your life in a way that lifts you up, try practicing self motivation. Perfect that. Perfect that inner dialogue that says, 'my job is to grow...my job in this world right now is to serve and grow.' What do you enjoy? If you are looking for motivation, and you want to perfect this so that you get out of all the negativity and you start looking at ways to make your life happier, look at what you enjoy doing and then do that. If you are looking for self-motivation - what do I do, I love to paint. I love to clean things. I know that's a little weird but I do. It depends, if it's an organization project, I like that. I will not clean floors. There are limits, right? But I know what my limits are. But if I look at the things that I enjoy, I go and do those things and this magical thing can happen. When I'm in a state of joy, or say I'm working out and my blood is going and I'm feeling really good while I'm working out, and I start thinking about some of the things, the tasks that I need to get done, I suddenly feel motivated around those tasks to the same degree that I feel happiness about doing the thing I enjoy, or I feel physically in place while I am working out. It's crazy how the mind does this. And it is so powerful to be able to use this understanding of how your mind works to ramp up your productivity. If you want to practice self-motivation, do the things you love, the things you you enjoy, and then work in there the opportunity to think about the things that are sort of looming over you - you've got a big project at work, you know, you have to clean the floors today - like, whatever the thing is. Bring those thoughts into situations where you're already getting the blood pumping, and the brain is happy, and all of those kinds of things and then your mind will associate those things. And instead of you going, 'I feel stupid, I just can't even get this project done,' and then perfecting that thought to the point that you are just living the stupid life - Instead of doing that, you're on the treadmill, and you're working. The blood is pumping, and you're sweating. And you're thinking about the project. And you're aware that your body is working really, really well. And your mind will start associating that challenging thing that is coming, the report that's due, the presentation that's due, whatever, and it associates it with the blood pumping, and the the mind working more clearly, and this striving to move forward. The physicality of it, all everything that is positive about the physical that's going on, suddenly is associated in your mind with the challenging thing. Isn't that absolutely incredible how the mind works that way? Take advantage of that. Make it a daily practice. Measure the things that you're doing. Recognize, 'wow, I was totally in jealousy mode and now I'm realizing, after, you know, meditating on this and thinking about it, while I'm working on things that I enjoy, I'm realizing I don't need to be singing in nightclubs, I am really great at doing presentations at a, I don't know, retirement homes.' Like, you can start recognizing, 'my niche is over here, I don't know why I was working at that, I am killing it over here.' And you celebrate it. And you measure it so that you can start realizing that your value is very real. There's no need for jealousy. There's no need for anger. There's no need to tell yourself that you're stupid. Where the need lies is in motivation. Motivate yourself by doing the things that you enjoy a nd then bringing in the thought patterns that you're finding challenging. Then your body and your mind will work together to reframe your thought processes and make you more productive. Okay, y'all, so it is no joke. It is time to let go of what you thought life would be, and get busy creating the life you want. And if you're one of those fabulous people who who has had the kind of life that you thought it was going to be, like, the whole time, there were no surprises...everything's been exactly what you thought it would be. Well, then Blessings to you. That's fabulous. But for the rest of us, challenge has come in from every redirection. Am I right? Like you think something is going to happen, like, ah, I know I just aced that exam, and it comes back as a C or a D. Right? Or you're thinking, 'oh, yeah, I know, I got that job,' and you didn't get the job. You got a different job. Same company, maybe, but a different job that you weren't as excited about. Or maybe you're thinking, I can't wait to go on vacation. And then you get sick. Like the kind of sick where you don't want to even get out of bed. Challenges happen people, am I right? Of course, I'm right. Challenges happen at every turn. But even though you have challenges, you do have the ability, as I was saying, to choose how you're going to react. You can be resilient. You can move forward in a productive way. Or you can choose to succumb to the stress of the day and just feel horrible about life. The second doesn't even sound appealing to me, You know what I mean? But many times we do go down that rabbit hole. Like, this thing did not happen the way I wanted it to and now for the next 10 days, I'm going to be complaining about what happened. Does that serve you? No, it doesn't. And you know, it doesn't. I know it doesn't. But I do it too. I have definitely some challenges that have happened in my life where I've stood back and gone, what the heck. And I have a really hard time seeing the positivity on the other side. But the positivity is there. In fact, it's not even on the other side. It's right there. It's not even in sheep's clothing. It's right there. It's inside of you. It's a choice. It's an opportunity. This is a learning experience. Challenge is a learning experience. And we gotta face the truth. And that is that, in those moments when challenge is coming at us, and life isn't what we thought it would be, we are exercising limiting beliefs. We are exercising thoughts which are not moving us forward, thus, limiting beliefs. Get it? If you think that everything is against you, then it is. If you think that you will never get ahead, you won't. If you think that you're not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, whatever enough, then you're not. Do you follow me? I mean, there are certain things, like, if you need to be a certain kind of model that needs to be, you know, 5'8", and you are 4'9", yeah, okay, that's not a limiting belief issue, that's a reality issue. You can't be the thing that you're not. A limiting belief is when you take a situation, you blow it out of proportion, and you decide that you are not capable on any level of, of whatever it was that you wanted to accomplish. You've limited who you are, what you are, and what you're capable of. Yikes, right? This is not healthy behavior, it's not going to bring you to a place of a healthy pattern. So the Chocolate I want to talk about today is Divine, Co-Owned by Cocoa Farmers Chocolate. Every bar directly improves the lives of farmers. That's on their little stamp at the top. It's actually a pretty cool logo, it's like two hands sort of interlinked with one another. It's a cool logo. This is a 70% cocoa chocolate bar - smooth dark chocolate with mint crisp. And it you know, what is amazing about some of the chocolates that I talk about, including this one today, is that people didn't look at, say, Hershey or a more commercial brand of chocolate and go, 'that's all there is...that's all we can do...there's a chocolate out there people like it, we're just going to stick with that." People didn't do that. People that are making chocolates that I present on this show actually looked at the situation at hand - here's a chocolate, some people are sensitive to it, or here's a chocolate and maybe the cocoa isn't farmed the way they wish it to be - or maybe it comes from a different part of the country or world than it then they would wish it to. And so they decided that they would go about things differently. They came from a place of conscience or they came from a place of working with people's sensitivities to food. Maybe they just wanted to simplify chocolate. Too many things are in there. Too many things to emulsify, and all that kind of thing. Chocolate is yummy the way it is, let's just use it the way it's it should be used, right? Or maybe some of these people, maybe they thought, well, this chocolate over here from this country is very different from the chocolate from that country....why don't we go out into the world find all these different types of cocoa and present different flavors for people to enjoy. This is innovation. This is facing truths. This is not living by limiting beliefs, but instead being innovative. Recognizing you are capable of doing something different. You're capable of being you and unique. You are capable of creating change by changing people's mind about what chocolate is. And recognize some of those more commercial companies are actually in the United States. Other people don't even know what those chocolates tastes like because they're living in areas where they're getting more pure forms of chocolate or chocolate coming from different companies. There is no end all way of presenting chocolate. Everybody can choose their own path and find a way to present things that represent their ideals or their own tastebuds. When you get rid of limiting beliefs, you open up your horizons. When you eliminate negative thought, you allow yourself to see the possibilities. When you let go of what you thought life would be, or you let go of what people are telling you is the end all and you get busy to creating the life you want, the life you want appears. It may not look exactly the way you wanted it to. Maybe your life was I want a wife and a dog and two children. And you end up with rabbits, a wife, 10 kids, living on a farm. Life may not be exactly what you pictured, but it would be a variation of what you dreamed it could be. But in order to get there, you have to get rid of the limiting beliefs and live in a way that sets you up for success moving forward. I am determined to increase self-awareness and help people to really value what it is that is special about who they are and what they can bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed this fabulous program called Celebrate You to help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life, so that you can find value at every turn and design a life that is more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Start Celebrating You, by checking out Celebrate You on BetsDanko.Com and signing up today. So we were talking about Chocolate, right, and and people coming up with innovative ways of creating chocolate, and essentially not being lazy. Not choosing the negative or lazy route, but instead allowing themselves to see possibilities. And along with that comes learning skills. And and we all learn as we are moving through life. Like that, that is just part of the, you know, being human. It's the human experience. And every challenge that comes our way gives us new opportunities to learn, and also to become stronger and more powerful in who we are. So embracing the learning just makes that whole learning phase so much more exciting and fun. And here's an example. I do know how to sew. I never really took it up, like my mother was a quilter and she was just amazing. She could create with fabric, colors, and patterns that you would look at and say there's no way this goes together. She would make gorgeous quilts out of. She was absolutely amazing with her abilities. And she could make clothing, she could, she could make anything, really, out of fabric. She maybe couldn't make a car, but you know what I'm saying. And so I know how to sew, but I never went down that pathway. That was never my thing. I like to make clothing, but it takes so long. Like, I'd rather just go online and find what I want and buy it, you know. But there are times when I find cool things online that I really want, but I just can't stomach paying the dollar amount that they're asking for it. And so a good example is that there are these poncho things that I really, really like. Very bohemian, with tassels and all these different things. And so cool and so simple. I mean, just a piece of fabric. And you the center seam literally could just rip the fabric and put some stitches along the rips so it doesn't, you know, completely tear apart the fabric, and then add some stitching to accentuate and then add the fringe like so, so cool. And online it was like 300 bucks for this thing. And I'm thinking okay, three hours max, and I've made that. I have the skill. Do, have I ever made one of those? No, never have. Have I ever worked with fringe in the way that it looks as though fringe is being made? No, never done that. Have I ever ripped fabric in a way to create a different kind of fringe like that? Nope, never done that. Have I ever used a blanket stitch on the edge of a piece of clothing? No, I never have. But I'm up for learning. I'm up for learning. Because I'm looking at the end result. When I'm done, I will have this awesome poncho to wear to a fabulous retreat that I'm going to in August. So I'm looking at the the end result, the point B, and I'm going point B looks pretty darn good. And so I am going to kind of reverse engineer that. Point B looks like this. So in order to get there, I need to figure out how to put the fringe on there, I need to figure out how to make my blanket stitch even all the way. I need to figure out how to embroider the x's in an equal way up the sides of of the poncho. Like, these are all steps that I need to do in order to get to my point B. Point A is, here's the fabric, here's the whatever the blanket stitch is gonna be made out of. I think it's going to be heavier than embroidery thread so I got to figure all those things out. And then all the little steps in between, I gotta figure it out as I go. I could allow this to be a daunting thing. Afraid of it, not willing to try it. But no. Instead, I decided to reach out to the person who I knew was going to love this idea and She did. And I said, 'Hey, let's have a party,' and she was like, all in. And so I invited a couple other fabulous people in my life. And so now it's like a party. And so now it's really going to happen, the fabric and all the supplies will be there. I'll gathered at all. And then we all get to create and learn together to get to our point, B. See, I made it exciting. I made it fun. I invited friends. And I did all of that because I knew that there could be opportunities for me to go, 'Oh, I just want to be lazy,' and then not get it done. And then I'd never get to point B. But I wanted to motivate myself. So I said, 'Hey, do you want to do this with me?' She said yes. And I'm like, awesome. So now I've got another person on board. That means fun. That means friendship. I've got two more people on board. More fun, more friendship, more motivation, right? I've set myself up for success to get to my point B. So what is it that you can learn about? What is something that you really want to accomplish? Who can you invite, to take part so that you feel motivated? And if it has nothing to do with a group of people doing things together, like maybe it's something having to do with reading a book, will maybe you get other people involved to the point where they're reading the book on their own time so that you all can discuss it. This would be a way to keep you motivated, so that you all have something to share every time you get together. And you're also incorporating friend time. That would be absolutely amazing. Learn a new skill. What can you learn about? Well, everything. Don't do we have space to learn everything? Like I say this all the time. I'm a singer, and I have been a singer for years. And there could be people in my life who are like, you, you are so good, you're an expert at what you do, right? But I recognize that even experts know that having a little bit of help can allow you to grow even more. So even though I feel very accomplished and I've got a nice resume and all of those kinds of things, I know that having a voice teacher, not, not a vocal coach, that's very different - a voice teacher is normally a person who actually sings and knows how to work with your voice because they do it - a nd so I have a voice teacher who will help me to continue to perfect what I already have. Even though someone might expect to that I would be considered an expert, I believe that even experts still need to study their craft. There's always room to learn. There's always room for discussion. There's always room for motivation. Even experts need to learn. And there is space in order to do that. Now, if you're practicing being lazy, it's time to change all that. It is time to get your life together. It's time for you to get yourself off the couch and create motivation. And the best way to create motivation is to think about the things that you love in your life, the things that are exciting and fun for you. And then go do those things. And while you're doing those things, bring in the thoughts of the stuff that is more challenging to you so that your body associates excitement with challenge. And then you are more apt to get things done for yourself. And make this a daily practice. Every single day when you're on the treadmill, wen you're taking your walk, when you're doing your meditation, your journaling, make sure you're incorporating that. And then let go of what you thought life would be. Because when you're motivated and you're moving forward, you're opening up more opportunity, and you're opening up a space to learn. Take advantage of that, my love. Choose to learn and ramp up your life with all the new exciting things that come your way.

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