Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Personal Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. This month we are all about celebrating our inner party and stepping out of our internal rat race to truly enjoy life. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!
The Wisdom…Honor The Guilt - Then Let it Go
The Chocolate…Love The Person You Are Becoming
The Celebration Moment…it’s Time To Step Out Of The Rat-Race And Into Your Peace
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It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom. & Chocolate. This is Bets Danko and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolat. I am really loving the topics this month, everything is centered around energy. And if you are having any sort of challenge keeping your energy up in relation to motivation and empowering yourself to move forward, these are definitely the podcasts to listen to. The monthly theme is energy so everything you listen to in this month is all about that. Today, we're talking about instant energy when you need it. Oh, lovely. So, you know, there's this thing that happens to pretty much every one of us. I don't know anybody who's immune to it. And it's called guilt. Oh, guilt, is a terrible thing. Talk about an energy killer. Yikes. Guilt can be this thing that just completely stifles you. And how does guilt come about? Like, let's start to pick this apart a little bit. Guilt is normally something that comes about because you have forgotten to give yourself grace. There you go. Sometimes people say no, no, my mother made me feel guilty, my aunt made me feel guilty, my my grandfather made me feel guilty - somebody made me feel guilty. But oh, you know what's coming, my love. Nobody can make you feel guilty. You choose that sensation, that sensation of 'oh my gosh, I can't believe I just did that, oh, now they're feeling like this, or now they're doing that.' You know. It's, it's, it's a thing that you do to yourself to punish yourself. Now you can feel sorry...'oh, wow, I feel really bad that I did this thing.' Then you can apologize. Then you can do something to help correct the situation if necessary. But the guilt thing, that doesn't help you. It doesn't help you and it doesn't help the person who you feel guilty toward, or the animal or the tree, whatever you whatever your guilt is directed toward or or interacting with, it doesn't help them either because it's a negative energy. We've talked about this before. When you go into a party, and everybody's super happy and I love that word, Grace. Grace is like a little nudge of love excited, and they're having fun. And then all of a sudden a really negative person comes in the room. Their bringing in a vibration. And even if you don't notice the person came in the energy of the room changes. And there have been studies about this. It's not like I'm just making this stuff up. So if you have guilt, that guilt is sort of that person that comes into the room and brings the whole party down. You don't want that. L ife should be a party. Let's celebrate our inner party, shall we? It's definitely something that we deserve. And how do we give ourselves that inner party? Grace. Grace is a beautiful thing. Now you may hope to get grace from other people, but giving it in the hopes that you will get it in return is not a true gift. That's, that's bartering. That's what that is. And that's not really going to help you feel super strong in the inside. It's when somebody gives, because their moved to give that the gift from them really feels great, right? If you sit back and you go, 'I need this from you, I need that from you,' and somebody then gives you those that you give as a gift. And you don't give it anticipating things, there's always this feeling in the back of, ' why didn't they just do that without me having to tell them.' Sometimes they're in a learning phase and they actually need to learn when it's when it's like to express love or, or affection to someone and you know, we can give people grace on that for sure. But sometimes they know very well and they're just choosing not to until you tell them to. And so if they do it without you having to say something, it's a beautiful gift. So you understand what I'm saying? When you're doing that for someone else, and you're just giving not expecting something in return, what a gorgeous, loving, beautiful gift. Now imagine giving yourself that gift every single day... giving yourself grace. And in the moments, when you may have done something that, oh, I should have thought that through, or I can't believe I just did that, or I was always doing that and he told myself I wouldn't do that anymore and I just did it again - in those moments, giving yourself guilt helps nothing. Remember, that's the person who comes in the party and brings a whole mood down. The vibe has changed, baby, and it's not good and you don't want to be that vibe. You want the positivity, and the love that comes with grace. And when you have that sense of grace, it also gives you the opportunity to correct whatever might have happened. If you're just doing it out of guilt, it's like, it's almost like you are doing it not something in return. A true gift is something that you give because you wish to but because you have to. But when you give yourself grace, and you find that, oh my goodness, in order to really make this right for everyone, I'm gonna go do this thing, wow, that that's another gift that you're giving yourself and the other person... where you're drawn by that compassion and the love that you have inside of yourself, to go and do a beautiful thing. Honoring Your guilt and your grief means to acknowledge it, change it, and then let it go. And that's what grace gives you the ability to do. Honoring the guilt - "Oh, wow. Okay. I just felt guilt. That's not what I choose to feel right now. I'm gonna give myself some love. I'm gonna give myself grace. And then I'm going to let all of this go. I'm going to remember so that I don't do this again later, but I'm going to let it go." Wow! Wow, what a beautiful gift. And the biggest thing that comes out of all of that is that your energy level stays high. Guilt, energy drops, Grace, energy raises. Yes. Isn't that a gorgeous thing. It's gorgeous. To give yourself that amount of love and give the other people that amount of love. Anytime you do a beautiful thing, you become a representation of how to live a happier life so that other people can go, 'wow, I remember willingly and freely that you don't wish to have reciprocated. when she didn't, you know, come around here and just do something to fix this because she felt guilty. But she did it for the pleasure of doing something beautiful. I want to be like that.' Right? That that is a gift that you're giving to the world. And it's an instant energy grab. Wow, love that. Energy means motivation. Motivation brings you to the point of empowerment. Grace at the root of all of that is empowerment built on love. Oh my goodness, love that. It is time to reset. I'm talking about resetting your life. I'm talking about exploring what it means to achieve true harmony of mind, body and spirit. Join me, Bets Danko, in person for my annual midwinter self celebration event The Spiritual Spa where together we will share in journaling, yoga, meditation, music and, if you've never experienced the sound bath, oh my gosh, you are in for a treat. So take a break come in from the cold and don't miss this funfilled winter weekend of relaxation that people from all across the country have called life affirming. It's my MidWinter Reset retreat, The Spiritual Spa, March 18 and 19th in Evans City, Pennsylvania. To sign up and for more information visit BetsDanko.Com. That's BetsDanko.Com. I can't wait for you to reset your life at the Spiritual Spa. So today we've got another Trader Joe's chocolate and I actually don't know if I've talked about this one before. I might have. It's it's one of these chocolates that you eat Instead, it is a true gift. for the purpose of having this chocolate. Not that there's no purpose in eating chocolate normally, but this purpose is something that, you know, you might wake up in the morning feel a little drowsy, kind of drained, you gotta go to work anyway and you're like, Okay, I guess I'll do this. You go to your desk. You don't want to down a bunch of coffee because then you'll be in the bathroom like all morning, right? So you're like, 'what can I do to sort of give myself a little bit of a boost?' Aha, Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Coffee Buzz. Hmm. This has Colombian nibs and coffee beans.There's like 70 milligrams of caffeine per bar. In a bar I'm talking about, it's only like two inches long, it's a tiny little bar, and yet 70 milligrams of caffeine. So if you just need a boost, and you want it to taste super good, but you don't want to be rushing to the bathroom every five minutes, these are awesome bars to have just a little bit of a boost of energy, so that your mind can be a little clearer, a little faster than then you waiting for lunchtime to have your turkey sandwich - Oh, no, that would put you to sleep - your chicken sandwich, right, it gives you a little bit of a boost of energy, so that you can stay a little bit more on target with your personal love, and grace, and all the things that help you to keep your energy high. Now today's chocolate moment is Love The Person You Are Becoming. Love the person you are becoming. Now everybody talks about love who you are, like really love you, be self aware to the point where you respect yourself, and if there's something you don't respect about you because you've got all this self awareness and you're like, whoa, I don't really care for that thing about my personality, well, you've got an opportunity to switch that up. Let's talk about guilt again, right? If guilt is one of those things that you experience frequently, and you don't want that anymore, when you are self aware, you become aware of that. And then you can change the way you respond to things that don't go exactly the way you planned. Like giving yourself grace, right? When you are loving who you are becoming, you've got this sense of looking toward the future. It's not, ' I'm going to become an executive in a year.' No, no, I'm talking about that person within you. What what are you becoming? Who are you becoming on the inside? As you give yourself love and grace, as you, you know, go through your days avoiding chocolate, or sorry, avoiding coffee, but instead going for chocolate with with coffee beans in it, as you're going through your day like that, what are you becoming? And who are you becoming? Think about that. Are you becoming sort of a beacon of light? Have you always been a beacon of light, but it's just becoming brighter? Are you coming more into yourself so that there's a piece inside of you, so that people are drawn to you because of the beauty of the comfort they feel around you? Who are you becoming? And as you look at your behaviors now and what's going on in your life right now, if you stay on this course, if you're really self aware, and really knowing what this is like, are you going to feel proud of who you become? Is that even going to be a thing for you? Or are you looking at yourself right now, and you're giving yourself grace but you're recognizing, 'I'm giving myself grace a lot like I'm making a lot of mistakes,' which is okay because you know, people that's life, you know. We try this Oh, it didn't work. I'm going to try it a different way. Oops, didn't work. Right? That's life. But are you, Are you looking at all of that and going I didn't learn the first, second, third, fourth or fifth time? Hmm. I'm not quite sure what I'm becoming or if I'm going to like that person. I really need to assess this and figure out where I'm headed. Right? Love the person you're becoming. Right now in this moment, looking at who you are and how gorgeous you are. Look at yourself five years from now. Are you on a path to because become somebody that you personally right now in your life would look up to? Are you the dark chocolate with the coffee bean? Or are you the long term energy built on Grace? Who are you becoming? That's the chocolate moment today. You got to love the person you're becoming. And if you're not loving that person, look at the here and now and figure out what you can do to change some of your behaviors. If you're giving yourself love and grace, awesome. But are you making the same mistakes multiple times? What can you do to change that so that you can really truly feel proud of who you are moving forward. Honor the guilt and the grief. Let it go. Love yourself to the point where you're giving yourself grace every time you feel like you're faltering. Instant energy is something that you create and you create it by giving yourself grace, by looking at the patterns of your life and changing the things that you don't feel that you will be comfortable with moving forward. If you are looking at yourself and you're not giving yourself respect or feeling that sensation of respect when you're looking at yourself five years from now, look at yourself now. What can you change? What can you do? Have confidence that everything that you do now sets you up for a pattern of absolute beauty moving forward, as long as you stay active in it. There is one simple equation that holds the secret to an empowered life. It's called the I AM Equation, a powerful online course at BetsDanko.Com, dedicated to creating real transformative change through self celebration, Celebrate, Motivate, and Empower. It's that simple. The solution to the equation is personal transformation, the I AM Equation at BetsDanko.Com. Plug your life into the equation at BetsDanko.Com. And now for the celebration moment, yeah. It's time to step out of the rat race, if you will, and get into your own peace. And what am I talking about there? You know what the rat race is. The rats that are racing right now have everything to do with dividing and separating and creating hate and creating, you know, this sense of, I'm not good enough, they're not good enough, they're evil, they're stupid, they're, you know, whatever the negativity. The rat race right now is all about negativity and separation and segregation. Hmm. No. It's time to say no. It's time to step out of the rat race, and go into your own peace because what's going to happen then? when you're really peaceful, when you're really loving who you are, you will have compassion for the people who think differently than you. Even if you're still looking at them going, I don't think that they're on the right path, I don't believe that they're making choices that are empowering for themselves or the people around them. Even in those moments, you will have compassion for them. This is so vital for society. Whether you're talking about your community, or your state, or your country, or the whole world, respect, and kindness and compassion are so vital for keeping people together. And when you're talking about yourself, it is the same, right? All the stuff that you need to to keep everybody happy around you, you need to be practicing on yourself first. So it's time to step out of your internal rat race. The part of you that brings you back to guilt, brings you back to grief, brings you back to self loathing, it's time to step out of that rat race, and then find the peace. Now I have to say I don't really care for the term rat race. I don't actually know what the originating thing was for that term. But I actually love rats. I know, a deep dark secret coming alive now in the podcast. But I love rats. I had rats as pets when I was younger, two different rats, and I just adore them. They're so cute. I love oppossums, too. They look like great big rats and they're just so sweet. Oh, little baby oppossums. I just go on and on and on, about these little rodents. And I love them. So I don't really care for the negative slant that rat race has - that term. But I'm using it so that we all understand what I'm talking about. To me, rats are very loving, and sweet. And they go around, they create a little bit of clutter, they eat your books, if they're in your house, they go into your cupboards, it's not super awesome to have them in your home but they can be so cute. And they do have a sense of community. They do take care of themselves and the other rats around them. They're kind of adorable little creatures. And we can sometimes attach ourselves to that sensation of, 'oh, yeah, you know, I'm kind of attached to the way that I express my grief or my guilt. You may not say that to yourself inside but there is this feeling of, this is who I am and this is how I react and I'm okay with that because this is just the way it is, right? There's an acceptance that happens. Well, sometimes you just want to clean the house. You want to get the rats out no matter how cute they are, no matter how attached you become to them. You just want to kind of get the rats out so that you can really assess what's still in your cupboard. What elements of you is still in your cupboard, which book is still there telling the story of your life. Those are the bits of you that you need to hold on to. Those are the authentic thing things about you. What do you like? You know, I have had clients who've come in, and I'll ask, What do you like? And they'll literally say, I don't know. Do you have any hobbies? No. Is there something that you enjoy doing? I don't know. And it's the saddest thing to me. Because that complete lack of self awareness, I believe, comes about when you have detached yourself from all understanding of how you feel. What brought you joy, what brought you anger, what frustrates you? You know, a lot of times in order to unlock something that somebody loves, you actually have to remind them of what they hate. Isn't that the saddest thing. I mean, it's just the reality, and we work through it nd it's all fine, but it's so much more fulfilling when, to define your life, you're looking at the love that you feel, instead of this is what I hate, oh, therefore, this is what I love. So getting rid of the rats, escorting them out of your inside, so that you can assess what's still in your cupboard and what's still in your book can allow you the space to recognize the things that mean the most to you. Because those are the things that are authentic to you. I love board games. I love lip gloss. I love blue nail polish. I love reading mysteries. I love putting together puzzles. You know, whatever your thing is... I love building things. I love taking apart a tractor, whatever the thing is. If you get rid of all the extra fluff, and all the other all the rats and the things that they're leaving behind, you get rid of all of that you suddenly go wow, I really like some cool things. And it gives you space to really experience your life. And what happens when you do that. You get filled with energy. Yes, the 'E' word there it is again, yes! Energy. Energy is a beautiful thing. It gives you space for expression. It gives you space for empowerment. It gives you space for accomplishing the things you want to accomplish. And one of the most beautiful things it gives you is the Check out everything that BetsDanko.Com has to offer at BetsDanko.Com. If you're on social media, Facebook, opportunity to find clarity in the things that mean the most to Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, you can follow me and BetsDanko.Com and keep up to date on all the little bits of you. So knock out all of that guilt. Get rid of all of the Wisdom & Chocolate that I post Monday through Friday. Subscribe grief. You know, acknowledge it, respect it, move beyond it. Give to this podcast and start enjoying your weekly dose of celebrating you with Bets Danko. And while you're at it, if yourself grace, so that you can really look at your life and you're enjoying Wisdom & Chocolate please take a moment find peace inside. Love the person you are now and love the and share with a friend. Go ahead. Tag a friend today with Wisdom & Chocolate and get them started on a path of self celebration. person you're becoming. Be the beacon of light that allows Experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in everybody else around you to become what they are meant to relationships, business, family and most importantly, self be. You are so flipping gorgeous. ramp up the energy by celebration. Getting the picture? It's wisdom and it's all about you. Want to hear the chocolate? Tune into Wisdom & acknowledging who you are on the inside. Chocolate weekly.