Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Personal Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. This month we explore ‘energy’ and how to maintain your energy even in the moments when challenge creeps in. Allow the path to open up before you and see how to cultivate your energy in the moments you need it most. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!
The Wisdom…The Path Will Open Up Before You
The Chocolate…Allow Yourself To Be Who You Have Always Been
The Celebration Moment…Amplify Your Inner Peace
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It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate. This is Bets Danko and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. What an amazing thing you are doing for yourself right now, showing up and listening to this podcast and getting a little dose of celebrating you. Whatever time of day it is, that's just a fabulous gift to give yourself because everything we do on this podcast, Wisdom & Chocolate, is about celebrating you. Because isn't that what life should be about, recognizing all of the positive and beautiful things that you're bringing to the table, and all of the different exciting experiences that you have in every single day,and then celebrating that to its fullest? Absolutely. That's exactly what life should be about. So that's what we're doing here today. Now, our main topic is "What does it mean to have great energy?" And how does that even tie into celebrating you? Well, we're going to figure that out. There is one simple equation that holds the secret to an empowered life. It's called the I AM Equation, a powerful online course at BetsDanko.Com dedicated to creating real transformative change through self celebration. Celebrate, Motivate, and Empower, it's that simple. The solution to the equation is personal transformation, the I AM Equation at BetsDanko.Com. Plug your life into the equation at BetsDanko.Com. So those of you who listen to the podcast every week, you'll notice there's something going on with my voice. That's, you know, it's it's that thing that just keeps popping up. It's a it's a COVID story, right? We all have our COVID stories. Well, this is my fourth COVID story. II got COVID A little bit, oh, goodness was at around the beginning of January? I've kind of lost track now. And it has been a long recovery process. And all of that's fine. I mean, every challenge that we have, gives us opportunity to grow and learn and I've had a lot of weeks now to grow and learn. But one of the downsides was that the coughing was so so incredibly difficult on my body, that it did affect my vocal cords. So what you're hearing is not that I'm still sick, but more that I have vocal cords that need extra love. And so I'm trying to provide them with that. But it was a challenge during this period of time to maintain my positivity, and to maintain my levels of energy because I have goals, I have dreams, I have things that I wish to get done in a day, or in a week or even in a month. And when you fall sick from anything or you get depressed or you know, something happens that sort of alters the path that you're on, it can be really hard to maintain your energy or positivity or motivation. And I'm not immune to that. I'm human, just like everyone else out there. And so when I am faced with this, 'oh, gosh, I've got these 20 things I'm gonna get done this weekend. Oh, no, I'm not gonna get anything done this weekend,' It is definitely a challenge. So what do we do? What do we do when those things happen? How do we pull that energy up? How do we get ourselves motivated to move forward in those situations? Well, one of the main things that I do and then I did was I allowed myself the time to heal. I thought, well, maybe now would be a good time to sort of sit back and allow my body to do what it needs to do. And I found peace with that quickly. Because you see, when you are fighting against the inevitable, it makes your motivation take an even harder hit. But when you can go, 'you know what, my body just needs a little break. I'm going to take that break, and I'm going to embrace the way that my body heals. I'm just going to experience this thing,' It makes it easier to have hope and drive and focus and clarity on what you are going to accomplish in the weeks ahead. It's not, 'oh, I didn't get to do this thing. Darn it. I can't believe it,' Because that's the kind of thing that really drivesdown your energy and helps you to feel like you're not accomplishing anything. Or maybe that you're a failure on some level. Well, I'm definitely not a failure. But my body did need to take a break. So I allowed it that. And that allowed me the energy to stay consistent, to stay accessible to the thoughts and dreams. And even though I couldn't come out here and create podcasts, and I couldn't come out here and create more meditations, or any of the other things that I create for my members, I couldn't actively engage in speaking or being on camera, I still was sitting back every once in awhile, just writing down random thoughts. Oh, I'm going to do this, I'm going to take care of that. I've got this really big event coming up in just a couple of months. It's the MidWinter Reset Spiritual Spa. And it's all about just connecting with the quiet and the peace within an amplifying that quiet and peace and bringing it out into the world. And it's a really important event for me. And it's sort of this thing that for a couple months prior, it is not all consuming, but any sort of thought, or, or understanding that comes to my mind, I'm jotting it down. "Oh, I'm going to include this in this event, I'm going to include that in this event." I try to keep it relevant and pertinent to what is going on in the world and in the lives of my clients and so doing that, in real time as the thoughts come up is really important, especially close to the event. And I allowed myself to find time for that, even though I knew I was taking a break. Well, I can write this one thing down, I'm going to leave myself accessible to creative thoughts. I'm going to kind of think through. 'gosh, does this work with this particular topic that I'm going to be covering,' and then I would write it down, I allowed myself to stay consistent with that habit that I've gotten into of writing down the thoughts which are really important to and pertinent to the things that I'm working on. I allowed myself to stay consistent so that there was this underlying energy of, 'I'm still getting things done. I'm still taking care of stuff.' I didn't shut down completely but I did allow my body time to heal. Now, the wisdom moment today is about the path that will open up before you when you just allow yourself to stay calm and peaceful, even in those moments when things are challenging and it feels like you can't keep the energy up. And what I mean by this is sometimes like now for me coming down of my fourth bout with COVID sometimes it feels like the the path just closed up. Well, there you go, I'm not getting anything done. I'm just going to close the doors, I'm not going out, I'm not going to even look at the path, I'm not going to consider the path, everything has just ended and I'm done. That's not productive at all. Well, the path might be different than the one I anticipated. I could have been recording messages and doing different things three weeks ago. So my path was different than what I anticipated but the path hasn't gone away. Something came in as a little bit of a challenge and a little bit of a wake up so that I could experience something different on the path that I had chosen. See, I changed the way I'm looking at the challenges so that I can understand it's cool to still have energy, it's just gonna be different energy than what I thought it was going to be. The path opens up before you so that as you're walking, you're still on course, it just might include things that you didn't realize were going to be there like phlegm. I didn't realize phlegm was going to be there in January. And I didn't realize that my vocal cords would kind of take a beating from all of this coughing. So even as I started to feel better, and I was like, 'okay, I'm gonna go out there and want to record things,' you know, my body just wasn't ready. And that's okay. The path was different. It was opening up before me. And it was important to take the steps when it was time to take the steps. And the peace inside of myself that I accessed allowed me to take those steps even when it just didn't seem like anything was going my way. And I guess the underlying message is that you should never fear even when things are not apparent, there is a path that is unfolding in front of you. Stay clear on the things that you want and that you wish to see happening in your life, but recognize when things are not playing out exactly the way you planned them to,this isn't time to fear. This is time to really buckle down and go, 'you know this, this is still my path, I still have clarity in where I want to go. the timeline may be different than what I anticipated, but things are still going to open up for me.' Really look at your trust levels, and trust that everything is happening exactly as it is meant to. See, we have this tendency of going, 'oh, I've got this plan. And so I've got all this clarity about the plan. I need to accomplish these 12 things to to get to this first stage of the plan. then I need to accomplish these other things to get to the second stage and I'm gonna get all of that done in two months.' Well, it's important to have those types of plans but it's also important to allow yourself the space to just follow the path and maybe veer off from time to time. You may not hit all goals exactly in the moment, you want them to be hit. You may not get to the next milestone for two months, instead of the five weeks that you had anticipated. Allow yourself grace and balance and compassion so that when you don't hit those goals, you're still cool with it. Don't psych yourself out into thinking that you failed. Oh my gosh, that is an energy killer, for sure. And this month's theme in BetsDanko.Com is energy. So we really need to, you know, keep ourselves on point in understanding what energy really means to you. Now, energy, the way I'm referring to it right now has to do with motivation, keeping your inner energy up, so that your motivation stays activated. So when you are sort of kicked to the ground and you've got coughing fits, and you're having a difficult time just getting your voice to work, keep the energy up inside - the hope the beauty the peace inside - and recognize that giving yourself grace and compassion will allow you to sort of shift your scheduling or shift the path that you're on so that you're staying positive and sticking to your overall goals. Trust that the path will open up ahead of you. It may not look the way you anticipated. You may not get to the things that you wished to get to in the time that you wanted to, but that just means that you need to trust that the path will open ahead of you. Now, if you want great energy and you've got things that keep stepping in your way, and the motivation is hard to keep up, you need to look at your worry quotient. I've got this lovely human in my in my life who loves to worry, and no matter how much I say, 'oh, please don't worry, or pleased look at the way you're phrasing that. look at this in a different way perhaps so that you can stay more positive,' she has a tendency to worry about people about things about outcomes and of course, that energy is not positive. The worry energy actually lowers your motivation, it actually lowers your understanding of the path ahead of you and how taking the first step, even if it's a little unknown is exciting. When you are worrying all the time, you're actually inhibiting your ability to move forward. And if you're worrying in the direction of another human, the energy of that worry actually inhibits them. Oh, worry is just not a real positive thing for anyone. So if you want great energy, stop worrying about the path. If you want great energy, stop worrying about the things that slow you down. Maintain your energy by recognizing that gosh, sometimes there are things did just come in the way and if I work with these things, I become a stronger, more powerful, more vibrant person. Worrying doesn't help you. It lowers the vibration, it lowers your energy level. If you want that path to open up in front of you in a way that is exciting, you need to become excited about it. What are the possibilities? What new interesting things are going to happen for you? What things are going to open up that you weren't expecting that overall are just going to make your life amazing or make this experience even more empowering when you finally reach your goal? It's the way you think about it. It's a way you change the words around. And if you are like my lovely friend who worries about everything or sort of throws worry at people, check that. Think about it a minute. Change the worry. If you're worried because someone is sick, change the worry. Don't worry about them, instead, give them solutions. If they're still sick, send some positive thoughts and some prayers to their medical team or to their family. Do something empowering so that you're not stifling them in their recovery. Worry doesn't do anyone any good and psyching yourself out in your own life with worry does not do you any good. It's time to trust. Trust. We love that word. Trust. It is time to reset. I'm talking about resetting your life. I'm talking about exploring what it means to achieve true harmony of mind, body and spirit. Join me, Bets Danko, in person for my annual MidWinter self celebration event, The Spiritual Spa, where together we will share in journaling, yoga, meditation, music, and if you've never experienced the sound bath, oh my gosh, you are in for a treat. So take a break come in from the cold and don't miss this funfilled winter weekend relaxation that people from all across the country have called life affirming. It's my MidWinter Reset retreat, The Spiritual Spa, March 18, and 19th in Evans City, Pennsylvania. To sign up and for more information, visit BetsDanko.Com. That's BetsDanko.Com. I can't wait for you to reset your life at The Spiritual Spa. So I took a little break from chocolate or even talking about chocolate in January of this year. But I am going to go back to chocolate right now and bring up a chocolate that I have mentioned before but is one of my absolute favorites. And that is the Trader Joe's dark chocolate sunflower seed butter cups. I really love these butter cups, they're just so yummy. And one of the reasons why I love them is that they're they're wrapped in dark chocolate and you just don't expect how yummy the inside is. You know, it's like you're going to bite it, you know that it's going to be good but every single time it is such a lovely surprise to get to the center of that buttercup. The other thing I love about it is that it's got this yellow wrapper with a sunflower on the front of it, I don't know it just so happy. It reminds me of the large sunflowers that I would grow in California in my backyard. And so it just gives me this sort of nostalgia feeling. But the most lovely thing about it is that surprise of biting into the Buttercup, and having something absolutely yummy on the inside. Now, when we talk about the chocolate in our life, in on this particular podcast, we're talking about allowing yourself to be who you have always been. Allow yourself to be who you have always been. What? What, of course, I'm being who I've always been, it could be somebody else. But the thing is that we all have a tendency of changing our thought patterns or our opinions or the way that we analyze things to fit the narrative of the people around us. Nobody wants to rock the boat. Nobody wants to make other people angry with them. Nobody wants to be the object of frustration, right? So we do what we can to fit into other people's narratives. Now, I think that's on some levels that can be sort of healthy. You know, you don't want to come into a conversation all, you know, crazy and bombastic and just start stating all the things that you believe, even though you know the people in the room will be offended by it. I mean, I don't I don't believe that that's a good or positive thing to do. But there are times when it is important to stay true to yourself. So if you're in a conversation, and people are voicing their opinions, and you have the opposite opinion, stating that in a respectful and positive way, it can be empowering for everyone in the room, when we are respectful and kind and we're allowing people to understand our points of view it it opens their minds and it opens ours so that there is deeper and more meaningful conversation and understanding. This is so important at this time, is it not? There are so many people angry with one another because of what we believe or what we perceive as a belief from other people. It's it's scary, on certain levels to think that people are hating over things they don't even understand. It's also scary to think about people changing their thought patterns, or who they are, so that they don't offend. Or, or so that they do offend. I know some really beautiful, gorgeous people who, if you just sat down with them and had a lovely conversation with them, you would recognize that, they're sort of neutral on a lot. But then there's this, this thing that happens when they get around different groups of people and all of a sudden, everything that they're saying is just really unkind. And they're just trying to survive, you know. I give them compassion, I give them a little bit of grace, because they're just trying to navigate what's going on but in reality, who they are inside is very neutral and loving. Now, there was a situation, I wouldn't call it neutral or loving. There was a situation on the road that I live on. And there were a group of people, I was included, who were discussing things to do about the surface of the road. We're on a private road here and the surfacing of the road is a responsibility of everyone here. And because it's a gravel road, it's something that requires maintenance every single year. And there was heated conversation about what we would do with that. And it was heated, because there was one man, one man, who was very good at riling people up and getting them angry. And nobody wanted to go against him, because then they would become the focus of his frustration and anger. And so while he was there in the meeting, everybody was just like, heads down, looking at the ground - not me - heads down looking at the ground, shaking their heads, and just sort of agreeing just to get the guy to be quiet. But as soon as he walked away, I'm like, 'look, guys, let's all talk about this and let's all share our opinions and figure out the middle road. What can we do so we're all okay with it. I know, we won't all be happy with it, because we're talking about compromise, but being okay with it, so that we're all getting along, and you know, whatever.' And we came up with a solution. And it literally took us three minutes to do so. Why? Because this man left and all of a sudden everybody felt safe to be who they were. And we compromised. We came up with a way to make sure everybody sort of got what they needed and maybe there was room to give them more later after we tried some solutions. As soon as that man came back into the group, and we said, 'okay, this is what we've come up with,' he was so angry that he wasn't getting what he wanted, that he yelled at everybody there. We all disbanded and then he called people individually and got everybody to go to his side, not because they wanted to, but because they didn't want to deal with the hatred and the anger of the person who was yelling at them. Now does this sound like anything that you've seen in the news? Does it sound like anything that you're seeing on social media, where people are just angry, and so they're bullying and they're pushing? Here's the thing, the person who's yelling the loudest is typically the person who's trying to manipulate the situation. That's probably the person's opinion, you need to pick apart a little more. That's normally the way that it goes. When you allow yourself to be you and own your opinions, you may not be the most popular person in the room and there may be a person yelling at you, but you're staying true to who you are. The outcome will be on a more neutral level if we compromise with other people in a way that uplifts them, everybody feels heard, and yet we're all giving a little bit to make sure that we're all okay with the situation. Energy killers will be the people who come into the situation yelling. But the other energy killer will be the person who puts their head down, shaking their head, and still agreeing just to get the person to be quiet. But when we stand in the power of who we are, when we really look at the people who are trying to manipulate and control, when we're really looking at the situation and looking for the facts and recognizing what we do and we don't know, instead of formulating opinions about about or over hearsay, when we're putting ourselves in that place, we are building our energy. We're becoming more motivated. We're becoming more empowered as we move through our life, And that my dear lovely people here on Wisdom & Chocolate that is the sunbutter center of the dark chocolate son butter cup. So now we're at the celebration moment Yeah. Oh my voice. My voice is so interesting. It's doing all sorts of acrobatics in there. And I'm excited that I now can sing a little bit, I have hope to get my actual voice back, and hope that I will be singing again. And hope that this amplification of my inner peace, which I have been going through, since the beginning of January, will really pay off. And I have that hope, but I also trust that that will be the case. For whatever reason, I needed the space and the time in January. And now as we're moving into February, the space and the time will be dedicated to the things that are on my clarity list. And all of the little notes that I wrote myself, as I was trying to stay consistent and accessible to all of my my dreams and my goals, those can come into play now. And I trust that that will be true. Now, I like like I was referring to in the last segment, I am definitely somebody who stays true to who I am. I don't try to be somebody else. I am me, and I'm unapologetically me. And I'm happy about that. The reason why I'm happy about it is that I feel empowered within myself but I also feel that I'm empowering other people. And this is what I hope for all of you. The more you own who you are and you stand in your power, the more you will be able to feel that inside yourself and witness it in the people around you. When you amplify your inner peace, in anything that is sort of helping you veer off the path you wanted to be on, you can find that compassion and grace and love inside of yourself so that you can be yourself and own the energy of that. What does it mean to have great energy? Great energy is an energy that comes from staying positive, trusting the path will open up in front of you, and being consistent and accessible, even in the moments when your body says you gotta lay back and relax. Great energy, sure, that could mean that you're totally up for five hours of kayaking. It could also mean that you're totally up for, you know, climbing Mount Everest. That would be great energy. But the green energy we're talking about right now is the energy that keeps you motivated. So what does it mean to stay motivated? It means staying consistent and allowing your dreams to remain accessible. Allowing yourself to be accessible to yourself, even in the moments when the path doesn't appear to be opening up in front of you. But trust me, my love that path is there. I know the people who listen every week, you've heard me tell this story about being at my little hippie retreat, and being told to go out into the woods and listen to the trees. And I thought, oh gosh, I gotta find the tree that is talking to me. But as I was walking, I was working too hard at finding the tree. I was working too hard. Which tree are you? Who's going to talk to me? And when I finally just said, 'okay, I just need to relax, I need to just allow the path to open up in front of me,' I finally figured out where I needed to sit. And it wasn't literally like a tree was talking to me. It's the like, the side of its bark opened up and a mouth appeared and it started talking to me. It was more about connecting to the stillness of the forest. That was really what it was. So when I finally went, 'okay, alright the path is opening up in front of me, I need to stop working so hard to force things to happen,' I was able to sit down and listen to the piece inside of me. I was able to journal about what was going on with me at that moment. And that gave me more understanding of how I needed to care for me. Allow the path to open up in front of you. So that even in the moments when the path is not where you intended to walk, it still feel safe and secure. Allow yourself trust that everything that comes in your path that you weren't anticipating will actually feed your path and your dreams. What does it mean to have great energy? Find the peace inside of you. Check out everything that BetsDanko.Com has to offer at BetsDanko.Com. If you're on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, you can follow me and BetsDanko.Com and keep up to date on all the little bits of Wisdom & Chocolate that I post Monday through Friday. Subscribe to this podcast and start enjoying your weekly dose of celebrating you with Bets Danko. And, while you're at it, if you're enjoying Wisdom & Chocolate, please take a moment and share with a friend. Go ahead. tag a friend today with Wisdom & Chocolate and get them started on a path of self celebration. Experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in relationships, business, family and most importantly, self celebration, getting the picture. It's wisdom and it's all about you. Want to hear the chocolate? Tune into Wisdom & Chocolate weekly