I Want it NOW!

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Personal Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness.   It is time to strengthen your internal world so patience is easier and your confidence skyrockets!  Listen in and learn what decisiveness and clarity can do for you.  The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your chocolate if you wish…It’s time to Celebrate You!

Highlights:

The Wisdom…Strengthen Your Internal World

The Chocolate…Decisiveness Needs Clarity - The Perfect Union

The Celebration Moment…Remember Your Superpowers, Young Grasshopper

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Transcript

0:03

It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate. This is Bets Danko. And you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate, and we are still in the month of patience so we gotta have patience with that. The fact that we just can't stop talking about patience. But it's so important, right? It's something that we really need to make sure that we understand and we're employing as often as possible so that we ended up getting exactly what we want, instead of settling for the things we never thought that we did. Now, 'I want it now' and other things can get you into a lot of trouble. And that's what we're talking about today. Before we talk about all the trouble that we can get in when we want something and we're just not thinking straight, we need to talk about our internal world and strengthening our internal world. And that may be a concept that you know nothing about so let me just go a little bit into that. Strengthening your internal world is all about strengthening your inner thoughts, your belief system, and your gosh, every emotion and thought that can propel you forward. Basically, if you want to strengthen your life, you need to strengthen that inner world. If you want to have a more fulfilling life, a positive life, if you want to have the ability to have patience, you need to strengthen that internal world. That inner dialogue, the stuff you say to yourself is super important. You're the first person to talk to yourself in every situation. So no matter what somebody says to you, those thoughts that came first are the ones that are going to stick to you. Hmm. Uh oh, right. A couple of you are going, uh oh...because if you're sitting back and you're going, I'm so stupid, I'm so dumb, I can't believe I didn't understand that, what's matter with me, why does everything takes so long for me - If you're talking to yourself like that all the time, guess what? You're gonna believe it. And then when you need to be in a situation where you've really got a passion for something, you have got a goal, a desire, something you must go for, in those situations, all of those inner thoughts that you've been having, they'll sabotage you. Sorry, but they will. They'll sabotage you. They'll come along and remind you, No, no, remember, you said you were stupid so you're not capable of getting this thing done. So you don't even get to the point of practicing your patience, or or manifesting through patience. You get no opportunity for that because the inner thoughts, the inner world, have already told you that you're not good enough. Yikes. Right? Why stop yourself in your tracks before you even get to take a step. You got to strengthen the inner world. You need to practice it. Like now. Practice makes perfect, right? And practice comes in reminding yourself, wow you look good. I love your eyes. Look how beautiful you are today. I love the way that you smile. I love what you just said to that person when you were talking to them. I love the way that you interacted with your boss right now. You are really strong at the work that you do. Wow, you got that answer before the meeting today. Great job, right? All of these things. These are things that happen as you move through your day. All of these things, these thoughts that you attach to the events in your life are important. And it's up to you to speak to yourself in that way. So even if it's uncomfortable, because I know a lot of people. I'm from California. Okay, so and Los Angeles oh my gosh, there are a lot of egos there. But most of the egos are fake. They're kind of built on broken thoughts, where people think that they're all that not because they really think that but because if they don't have that kind of air about them, that persona about them, they may not get to where they want to be in the entertainment industry. I've met so many people with extremely low self esteems, who are so blatantly rude to everyone around them because they think that behaving that way makes them look more important and look like somebody who should be getting the jobs over everyone else. But imagine what it's like to really believe in yourself. Because so many of you are sitting back and thinking, I I don't believe those things about myself so how am I supposed to say them about myself? Well out, it becomes habit. Once you start saying positive things about yourself, you start thinking them automatically, and then it becomes habit. And then a beautiful thing happens where you kind of don't even need to say the positive things anymore. Because you just know. You just know that you're great. So if you are one of these people who, when I say, sit there, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful, you have a gorgeous smile, I love the sparkle in your eyes - If that is uncomfortable to you, then you need to say it to yourself, and look at yourself in the eye as though you are talking to your best friend. Because if you're not your best friend, you got to start now. Like right now, you can start it right now. Become your best friend, say beautiful things to yourself. Have wonderful sentiments that you share with yourself. And believe those things. If you don't believe them, then Gosh, it's not going to serve you, right. And if you have passions that you want to go for, you want to believe in yourself, or you'll start thinking that you're not worth those passions. And you are worth those passions. Strengthen your inner world, so that you are stronger, as you set out to plan the things that are going to come your way if you really believe in yourself. Now, if you say I want it now, and other things that can end up getting yourself in trouble, and you don't have your inner thoughts in check, then you will end up doing things and having things that are not serving you. You won't feel fulfilled. You'll feel like what the heck was appointed that. I have this wonderful woman who I have worked with for years. And she has a block. She has a block about herself. No matter how much you tell her, 'you're great,' or you walk her through exercises so that she can reaffirm herself. She has decidedly chosen a life of telling herself she's not any good. And it can be very frustrating for me, because I'm giving her so many tools and she's just choosing not to use them telling herself on purpose, that she's not good enough for those things. She wallows in the regret. She wallows in the guilt of her life. And she chooses that, rather than choosing to have a more fulfilling life. Now, we don't work together individually anymore, which I think is is a good move. Because you know, eventually, if somebody is not listening to what it is that I'm telling them, then perhaps I'm not the right teacher for them, or perhaps they're just not ready to change, right. But she does come to the live events. And I just absolutely adore her. And I don't give up on her. Because I know at some point, she will finally look at herself and go, 'wait a minute, I am worth it... I'm worth going for the things that are more fulfilling for me.' And I want to be there when she comes to that place in her life. I want to celebrate that with her. Up until this point, she and a few other people who I have come across in my work, they they have sat back and said to themselves, I'm not good enough so much that they've kind of ended up in a dead, dead end in their life where they're not really progressing. They're not gaining any new knowledge. They're not moving forward in their careers. They're just stagnating. They're not moving forward in any way, in their relationships with themselves or with their their friends, their lovers. They're not moving forward. And eventually you get to the point where you go, why am I not moving forward? And you're really serious about the question. So when someone gives you a solution, you jump on it, and you go for it. But what happens when you're stagnating? Then whatever comes your way, is what you're going to take. You accept it. Oh, I don't really know what I want anymore. So I'll just take this job. Oh, I don't really identify with my emotions enough to understand what a good feeling relationship is like, I'm just going to stick with this one person, right? The 'I want it now' becomes something that you just lean on because nothing else is passionate for you. You don't feel the desire. Oh, wow, what a sad place to be in life, right? looking toward the future and having something to move forward to is something that keeps you alive. It keeps you vibrant, it keeps you happy. So start with the internal world. Allow yourself to investigate what it's like to really think positive things about yourself. Investigate what it's like to start journaling and meditating and saying I am statements and doing all of the things that you're learning on this podcast so that you can believe 100% That you are worth it enough to have passions and dreams and desires so that you can go for them and practice experiencing your patience. There is one simple equation that holds the secret to an empowered life. It's called the I AM Equation, a powerful online course at BetsDanko.Com, dedicated to creating real transformative change through self celebration, celebrate, motivate, and empower. It's that simple. The solution to the equation is personal transformation, the I AM Equation at BetsDanko.Com. Plug your life into the equation at BetsDanko.Com. There are two things that are in relationship with one another when you are finding success, maybe more than two, but these two are the ones we're going to be talking about today. And that's decisiveness and clarity. Decisiveness and clarity. They're the perfect union. When you decide what you want, and you really decide it, and then you look at it and you understand it and you see it from all sides so that you gain clarity, then that is an awesome catalyst for getting you where you want to go. Now I shared a couple weeks ago that I am taking a step back from eating chocolate for a while not because it's not good for me, because you know, I'm always pitching the good things, cut because I am trying to stay away from processed foods for a while just to get my body sort of a break and to help me feel a little bit more in tune...get my brain a little bit clearer. Now I'm not the type of person who drinks a bunch of soft drinks or just chows down on chocolate 24 hours a day. But I do have a chip addiction. I love chips. And I do tend to eat whenever I have a chance just grabbing whatever I can. And of course, grabbing whatever you can normally translates into something that's processed and packaged and ready for you to eat. And, you know, buying fruit and vegetables, that's great. But that's not always what I'm going to grab when I'm going out the door. Now I decided that I wanted to feel better. And I decided that I would try this route of feeling better, so that I could have more clarity because I have plans, people. I have plans and I do have a future that's mapped out and I am going to succeed at reaching my goals. And in fact, June is going to be a phenomenal month for me, I'm just telling you. I'm deciding it now. And I'm very clear about how that's going to happen. I have clarity, because I've been looking from all angles at my life. And part of the clarity that I had was I needed more brain power, and I needed more energy. And how am I going to get those things? I'm going to eat better and I'm going to schedule exercising. See I am a very active person. I will spend hours outside working in the garden, which by the way, it's not like just you know, little trowels working in the garden. I'm talking moving boulders, digging huge ditches, and moving all sorts of things around. Like, what I do at my age would surprise most people. And I want to make sure though, that that's not all the exercising that I do, that my exercising is concentrated, and it's focused, and it is deliberately working specific muscles in order to enhance my blood flow, in order to increase my brain activity. Like, I want to make sure that everything that I'm doing helps me to get to the goals that I have for 2023 and having a strong mental power, and having a strong body that can weather any and all illness that comes my way that is going to help me get to my goals and get there faster and clearer. Decisiveness needs clarity in order to have something fulfilling happen in your life. If you're decisiveness is, 'I'm doing this,' but you're not clear about what this is, Umm Hmm, I don't know if you're gonna get there. Or you may get to where you think you meant to get and then you'll be like, Whoa, this isn't what I thought it was gonna be. have clarity, bring it in, Decisiveness needs clarity. It's the perfect union. So bring them in together so that you understand what your goals are, and you can move forward. And by the way, going back to the first point in this podcast, if I didn't believe in myself, and if I wasn't saying positive things to myself, I would not be able to get to the point of saying, you know what, I deserve to feel better, to have a clearer mind, to physically feel great so I'm going to change the way I'm eating. I wouldn't even get there. If I didn't feel that my life had value, if I wasn't saying beautiful things to myself all the time, I wouldn't get there. Now some people say well, yeah, but I have pretty low self esteem, but I eat pretty well. Okay, why are you doing that? Do you prefer those foods? Are you a workout-a-holic? Like what, what is the reason? Do you feel value in you, but you're just not admitting it? Mmm, that's a whole other thing to look at, right? Decisiveness needs clarity. It's the perfect union. You got to strengthen your internal world so that you can see things with clarity. If you want something now, and every other thing that's coming your way starts kind of stealing your thunder, then you gotta check that inner world. You gotta make sure that the internal dialogue is actually supporting the track that you're on. It is time to reset. I'm talking about resetting your life. I'm talking about exploring what it means to achieve true harmony of mind, body and spirit. Join me, Bets Danko in person for my annual midwinter self celebration event, The Spiritual Spa, where together we will share in journaling, yoga, meditation, music, and if you've never experienced the sound bath, oh my gosh, you are in for a treat. So take a break. Come in from the cold and don't miss this funfilled winter weekend of relaxation that people from all across the country have called life affirming. It's my MidWinter Reset retreat, The Spiritual Spa, March 18, and 19th in Evans City, Pennsylvania. To sign up and for more information, visit BetsDanko.Com. That's BetsDanko.Com. I can't wait for you to reset your life at The Spiritual Spa. So here's the thing little grasshopper, you need to remember your superpowers. This celebration moment is all about superpowers, you got to remember the superpowers so that you can use them as you're moving forward. Ooo, we love that, right? We love tools. We love things that we can use to make sure that we can get where we want to go. And what are your superpowers? Well, one of them is being a control freak. Remember how months ago we talked about how being a control freak has kind of a negative connotation, but it's actually a super positive thing? Because when you decide you're going to control how you are seeing the world, how you are interacting with yourself, how you were thinking about yourself, then life becomes a whole heck of a lot better. If you stop giving up your power to everyone around you by going, I'm angry because you said this, you did that to me, you were the one - you know, it's how you react to all the stuff that's going on around you that really decides what your life is going to be like. So when you employ the superpower of being a control freak, and you recognize that you're in control of how you react, Oh, yum E!. That is like the yummiest thing, because then you can choose different ways to react, positive ways to react, positive ways of looking at the world. You can strengthen your internal dialogue. You can talk to yourself in beautiful ways. The control freak inside of you can take control of you in a good way. If you're coming from a place of love, and you're coming from a place of wanting to uplift yourself and make yourself feel amazing, then that control freak has so much flippin power to make your life fulfilling. Woooeeee. Make sure you are using that superpower. You can make strong and bold choices. Be the control freak that you are, so that you can do that. Be decisive. Bring in the clarity, think about things. Understand things. Be the control freak to the point where you ask questions, where you ask for help, hey, I want to do this thing do you know anything about this? Do you mind spending 15 minutes with me and just kind of explaining the basics to me? Or do you mind kind of pointing me in the direction of someone who does understand how to get this done? Right? The control freak in you can have so much courage and feel so good about yourself that it won't be frightening to walk up to somebody and say hey,I need this. Can you help me with this? The amount of times that I've walked up to somebody and said, can you help me with this or would you mind going over there and taking care of this for me, and they just did it? Oh my gosh. It has opened so many doors for me. It has opened dialogue with the people I've asked to help. It has made it easier for me to get things done by having people step up and help out. And the cool thing is, most of the time when someone's asked to step up and help out, they feel really great about themselves. They feel good that they've been helping, and they feel honored that you trust them to help. So it's a win win situation coming from all different angles. Everybody's feeling good. And we love it when everybody feels good, right? Remember your superpowers. Young grasshopper, you are a gift to this world. You bring good fortune. Be decisive and bring in the clarity. Ramp it up and make sure that you're taking care of all of the little things that help you to find patience in the world - like the inner dialogue, the thoughts, the stuff inside of you the way you react to things. If you want to bring in the patience, you need to have the strength to recognize that you're worth it. And you are worth it. It's just time to believe it. Check out everything that BetsDanko.Com has to offer at BetsDanko.Com. If you're on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, you can follow me and BetsDanko.Com and keep up to date on all the little bits of Wisdom & Chocolate that I post Monday through Friday. Subscribe to this podcast and start enjoying your weekly dose of celebrating you with Bets Danko. And while you're at it, if you're enjoying Wisdom & Chocolate please take a moment and share with a friend. Go ahead. tag a friend today with Wisdom & Chocolate and get them started on a path of self celebration. Experience the wisdom that helps to motivate and empower you in relationships, business, family and most importantly, self celebration. Getting the picture? It's wisdom and it's all about you. Want to hear the chocolate? Tune into Wisdom & Chocolate weekly