Wisdom & Chocolate with Bets Danko

Be The Reason People Believe In Humanity

February 21, 2024 Bets Danko Season 4 Episode 144
Wisdom & Chocolate with Bets Danko
Be The Reason People Believe In Humanity
Show Notes Transcript

It’s time to recognize and reframe negative thoughts.  Why dishonor the special nature of your life and break away from integrity?  You are in control of what you think and how you react.  Honor that precious life of yours, embrace self reflection, and be the reason people believe in humanity. 

Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You


Highlights:

Your Life Is Precious

The Joy of Endangered Species Chocolate

What You Are Stressing About Today Will Not Matter Next Week


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Honor that precious life of yours, embrace self reflection, and be the reason people believe in humanity. Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Personal Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. 


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It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a new healthy habit. Kick up your feet and listen in. This is Wisdom & Chocolate.

Hey there, everybody. This is Bets Danko, and you are listening to Wisdom & Chocolate. Welcome. So wonderful to have you here. Today, we're gonna be talking about you and your life. So this is definitely one that you want to listen into. Because it's not every day that people tell you how amazing you are. And, it's not every day that people accentuate that by doing an entire podcast about it, right? So this is a good one to tune into. For those of you who have tuned in before, you'll notice there is a little bit of, of an echo going on in my office today. And that is because the curtains are down, the shelves are down, there's a new desk in, like, there's a lot of change going on in this room right now. And that includes stripping things clean so that there's an awful lot of echo. So I apologize for that. Soon enough, there will be things on the windows, things on the walls, and we will have a much warmer sound. But it is good to have echo sometimes. It is good to sit and talk and hear what it is that you're saying; have it come back at you. And the reason is that many of the things that we say just kind of come out of our mouths and we forget about them. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just something in your head, and you're like, "Okay, done, I'm just gonna let it out," and you let it out, and it's gone, and you forget about it. But the energy of the thought, and the energy of the spoken word, does not go away. If you allow challenging, negative, yucky thoughts to be in your head and to come out of your mouth, the energy of those things stick around until you completely annihilate them. I mean, that's that's just literally the way it is. You have to completely change the way you see things in order to take away the energy of those thoughts. And here's the deal:

you may not realize it, but your life is precious. So when you have negativity swirling around you, you are dishonoring that life. Ugh. I know, I'm always calling you out on stuff, aren't I? And that's, that's sometimes not fun. But at the same time, isn't it great? To be able to sit back and think "wow, when I said that one thing, did I really mean it? Do I really think that I'm stupid? Do I really think that I've got no talent in this area? Do I really think that I'm fat? Do I really think that I have absolutely no drive to get things done?" Like, the things you say hold energy. The things you say lead you to do things that are not supportive of a more positive life. And if you're one of these people who are like, "No, I've changed everything up, and I'm the most positive person, I never think a negative thing." Well, you know what, bless you. That's amazing. But I am one of the most positive people in the world. And I still say things every once in a while and go "what? Why did I say that?" And I gotta take it back. And then I got to reroute it, change it around. And during the whole COVID thing, I, I just had a really hard time recognizing how positive things were around me. And so, now I'm having to relearn how to communicate with myself and with the world around me in a more positive way. Because when you see the negativity, when you see the challenge, when you're called names on social media because of your views, when you are, you know, called out for not saying enough, because you're trying to stay neutral when you are, gosh, I don't know, how many examples, probably a million I could come up with with the way that we were affected negatively by the things that were said and done over the pandemic days, right? When you allow that stuff to affect you, you forget how precious life really is. And that may sound weird because, weren't we so focused on our lives and staying alive during that time? But what is life if you're not focusing on the positive? Your life truly is precious. And that is a positive, it is just there, kind of staring at you 24/7. Whether or not you acknowledge it, is up to you. So when you are still battling the demons that came during the COVID time, and you're still trying to find positivity everywhere, and you know, you're challenged by this, and you're challenged by that, remember that the quality of your life depends on the way that you see your life. The quality of your life depends on the way you speak to yourself, and you speak the words to the people around you. You've got to protect who you are and what you are. You need to protect your integrity. If the whole time you're sitting back saying, "things are beautiful, life is beautiful. I really believe in people and you know, all of this kind of stuff," and you don't really mean it, you're sort of lying to the world and lying to yourself, your integrity has taken a hit there. It's not that we don't backslide every once awhile, and say a thing here and there that kind of doesn't really reflect the overall understanding we have of life. It's not that that doesn't happen. It does. And like I said, we need to correct ourselves and put ourselves back in course. But if you're allowing your integrity to come in question, and, and you're literally just sitting back, allowing yourself to lie to yourself into the world, you need to make an adjustment. Because your integrity helps people to understand how trustworthy you are, how safe they are around you. You need to make sure that what you're seeing is really what you mean, and really what you're feeling. And if what you're feeling isn't on the positive level, an uplifting level, a level that actually serves you and the people around you, you need to change that. You need to flip it and find the opposite side of things, so that you can approach life in a more positive way. More positivity translates to more productivity. The more positive you are, the more you can get things done, the more ideas come to life. So you need to protect that integrity, and stay positive. And you also need to protect the trust of others. Like, people putting their trust in you, and then you turning around and saying negative things about yourself, that that's telling them, you know, any positivity that you have, that's kind of crap. Like, "you need to just sort of listen to me and recognize that life isn't so good," right? And that doesn't help any of them. And to be honest, when they get to the point where they're sort of thinking on their own, and they start recognizing that life is pretty darn good, they're, they're gonna recognize they trusted the wrong person. And at that point, their trust in you is gone. It comes into question, and then it's gone. And they recognize that you haven't been living by your own morality. And if if you are living by your own morality right now, and that is leading you to say horrible things to other people, well, you know, self reflection might be a good course for you at this moment. You want to live by your morality. If you've got principles, you need to put them into action, and you need to live by them. And you've got to be true to who you are. And let me tell you, you, who you are. You are a precious being. You are a light that shines in the world. You are someone who is connected to every human being around you and across the world. And the light that you share is something that is so in common that when you harm another person, you are actually harming yourself. You need to be true to you, live by your morality, and protect your integrity so that you protect the trust that other people have in you. And now for the Chocolate Moment. Today, I'm going to talk to you about the Endangered Species Rice Crisps and Dark Chocolate. This is 60% Cocoa, 10%. net profits go to saving wildlife, which we absolutely love. These are non GMO, they're vegan, they're a product of the USA, yay, USA. And they are in, the one that I'm holding anyway, is something that is in a small package. It's 1.5 ounces. And I think that there are bigger bars of this exact same thing if I'm not mistaken. But this is a little snack for the middle of the day. Have your lunch, eat healthy first, and then go ahead and have just a little bit of a treat full of antioxidants and yumminess of dark chocolate, right? This is the size that you're gonna go for, the 1.5 ounce. And, honestly, sometimes that's a little much for me. So like I'll break it in half and just go with that if it's in the middle of the day. But I gotta tell you, there been a lot of birthdays around here lately. And so I've been eating way too much chocolate, and sugar, and all that kind of thing, because it's good, right? It's so good. And I have a master baker living in my own house who does the whole, "here's your super moist, yummy, gluten free, milk free cake, nut free cake," right? And it's so absolutely amazing. But on a regular day, it's just a couple scores a chocolate will do it for me. I just absolutely love just the little perk in the middle of the day, just to support the podcast, and also to give myself just a little bit of a treat. And this one, this had a little bit more of a treat in it. Subtly sweet dark chocolate, packed with the crunch of airy crisps. And you know, if you're a person who is really into crunch bars, or crackle bars, or something like that, this is the healthy version of that. And I do recommend it. And what I said, you know earlier that I really love, that they donate money to endangered species, that, you know, I'm very much into preserving the natural environment as much as we can. And causes that have to do with saving animals have a special place in my heart. So I really love the fact that that is an element to what they do at this company. And, and anything where you're combining chocolate with something good, I think is a positive thing. And this is one of these companies that helps me to maintain my positive view of humanity. I do have a positive view of humanity. There are moments when I feel like "man, what is up with people?" Right? I definitely have those moments. But overall, I do believe that humanity has the ability to live in compassion, not just for other humans, but also for animals in the plants and the planet. I believe we have that ability, and many of us exercise that ability. And sometimes it just in small, simple ways. And I'm cool with that. And to be honest with you, even though I share some of the views with the people who kind of get in your face, I don't like the get in your face method for trying to force things down people's throats, and say "you must protect endangered animals." What do people do when you do that to them? They retreat, they think you're crazy. And then anything you say they see as crazy. We have to live within reason. We have to live in a way where we are respecting other people's views and perhaps sharing with them different ways of looking at things so that we can bring ourselves to a place of, of peace and understanding of one another. We need to be the reason people believe in humanity, like, people, in other words, humanity, sit back, and they don't believe that humanity is worth anything. You know, they they don't believe that humanity is capable of positive things. And that's why they attack. It comes from a place of fear and separation, and not understanding that they're part of humanity too. And a lot of these people who started getting your face and yell at you about "you gotta save the salmon" and all of these types of things, they, if they were confronted and someone yelled at them, they would react the exact same way as the people who do not believe salmon are endangered because people have attacked them in the past, they would react the exact same way. So what do we need to learn about all of this, right? We need to learn that staying in compassionate mode, understanding your level of morality, understanding your integrity, and living by those things, are essential in order to be positive and build a positive lamp of light within humanity. When you are calm, when you are willing to listen, people have a tendency to allow themselves to hear you. Now, it may not be right away. And honestly, I think that a lot of our fuses are so short these days, that we're not really giving people the opportunity to come around, we just, we get so angry because they're not listening right up front that we just, you know, lose our patience way too fast. But eventually, most people come around, and I do have to say most because there are some people who are just determined to believe what they believe whether or not it makes any sense. And trust me, I, I, I'm not one of these mainstream media sort of people. I like listening to commentators. I like listening to actual recordings of actual things that people actually said. Instead of sound bites that People pulled together. And I like to come up with my own understanding of what is at play. In other words, people say things on the surface, but you need to listen, like really listen to what they're saying, in order to get where they're coming from. And there's a lot of word manipulate, manipulation, not by me, obviously, because I have a hard time saying the word, but there's a lot of word manipulation going on, where people are changing the meaning of things just to get their point across, or they claim they're doing something, when actually they're doing something completely different. They're manipulating themselves, their words, and the people around them by destroying any level of integrity they ever had, and claiming things that are not true. Yike. I want to be the reason people believe in humanity. So I listen, I pay attention, I come up with my own understandings. And I listen to things that are as close to fact as I can get my hands on. And fact comes from actually witnessing what is really going on. And so it takes more time, it takes more thought, but this allows me to understand the people around me. This is also one of the reasons that people trust me. I listen, I pay attention, I care, I have compassion. I live by my integrity, I understand my morality. And I live by that as well. And I'm true to who I am, as best I can be. Like I said, you know, I falter every once in awhile, I say a thing, I have a thought, something comes out of my mouth that I later regret, because I am human. And then I bring myself back down, like I really work on that. And I get myself back to a place where I can forgive, where I can create space. And I encourage you to do the same. Find the opportunities to bring yourself back to par. And par is like you as a baby. So full of trust. So open to learning. So open to listening, right? That's par, we all need to work ourselves back to that be the reason people believe in humanity. So, most of the time, people call me and they say "I need a session with you, I need to get on the phone with you, umm, or I need to work with you directly." Most of the time, when that happens, there's a huge stress element going on something in their life has gotten, gotten them to a place where stress has overcome reason. They're having a hard time separating the fear, the sorrow, anything that's sort of dragging them down from the positive levels of their lives. And so they're looking for somebody, me, to help them sort through some of their thoughts so they can get themselves back on track. And And truth be told, I'm the exact same way. I need to talk sometimes, I need to just bring things to the table so that I can hear someone's opinion, even if I know exactly what to do. I just need to hear from somebody else what they think. And almost always with stress that enters my life, I, I have this sensation that I gotta figure this out right now, like the stress almost always has a time element. I gotta figure it out right now, right now, right now. And so I go to people who I trust, and I say, hey, help me out with this. Sometimes I listen to them. Well, I always listen to them. But sometimes I agree with the advice I'm given, and sometimes I do not. But I listened so that I can help to, myself, formulate my own opinions. And I try to remind myself that chances are, what I'm stressing about today won't even matter next week. Like, how many times if that happened? You're stressing, you're stressing, you're stressing, and then all of a sudden, it's like a week later. And you're like "why in the world that I stressed about that? Nothing happened," right? And that happens to every single one of us. We see something, we perceive it as something just, oh my gosh, this is catastrophic. It's, everything's gonna fall apart. We stress over it, and then we get to the point of realizing "what? We didn't need to stress about that at all. If we had just not had that second cup of coffee that day, or if we had just gone to the people who were stressing us, instead of talking about them behind their back, everything would have been settled" or, you know, "if I had just allowed myself the space to think about this, it never would have bothered me," right? When we get to the point of realizing that stress, even immediate stress, does have a built in time factor, then we can allow ourselves to think through the challenging thoughts, the questioning of our own morality and integrity, and the reasons why we're feeling stressed about those things to begin with. Sometimes the reason we're stressed has nothing to do with the thing that's right in front of us, it has more to do with the way that we react to certain types of stress. So if you are a person who's in a relationship, and you are stressing, and it's only five days in, you need to look at what other relationships have taught you about this, and how that's contributing to the way that you're reacting. And then you need to say to yourself, "is this really that important?" Not the relationship. I mean, I'm going to assume the relationship is important. But is that level of stress that important? Because next week, everything's probably going to be sorted out, and you're going to sit back there and go, "Why in the world that I stress?" Your life is precious, don't waste it on stress. Make sure you understand what you actually believe in, and give yourself the opportunity to think things through before you act. Protect the level of trust people have for you. Allow them to have their trust and have a reason for trusting you. In other words, be the person they think that you are. Live by your own morality, don't take the the morality of other people and decide that's the way to go. If what they are feeding you is telling you that you should hate other people, then you need to turn around and walk away. morality should be an uplifting, positive thing. It should give you reason to help people believe in humanity and the beauty of humanity and the light that is shared within humanity. Be the reason people believe in humanity. Because chances are what you're stressing about today, ain't gonna matter next week. I am determined to increase self-awareness and help people to really value what it is that is special about who they are and what they can bring to the world. And with that in mind, I designed this fabulous program called Celebrate You to help you slow down and pay attention to what's going on in your life, so that you can find value at every turn, and to design a life that is more fulfilling. So do a little extra. Start Celebrating You by checking out Celebrate You on BetsDanko.Com and signing up today.

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